HIS REGRET (1st BOOK) 18+

THIRTY ONE : NEA

When I see him,my heart squeezes tightly until breathing feels nearly impossible,my pain increases instantly,I Don't know what to think right now,my mind keeps on screaming at me,
"It was fake,it is fake,it always been fake".
I got up and walked past him,few seconds later he screams my name,"don't look don't look",I tell to myself and suddenly he hugs me from behind,almost tugging me into him,god how much I missed him,how much I missed his touch and suddenly realization hits.

"Leave,leave me Quade,LEAVE ME",I scream,trying to remove his hands around me,but he is holding me so tightly,making my efforts all go in vain,what is it now?
What does he wants from me now?

"Why are you doing this Quade?",I ask him.
He doesn't give any response but he pulls me even closer.
Warren was about to punch him but I shook my head making him stop.
"Leave her",Warren orders.

"Please Nea just listen to me once,just once",Quade says completely ignoring Warren.
"What do you want to say Quade,didn't you say everything on that day,that how you fake dated me just to make her jealous?",I ask him.
"Yes I did,I know I was wrong to drag you in this but.....",he says but before he could continue,
I say,"What else Quade? Don't say you are here to say how happy you guys are or how much you love her,if that's what you want to say then....",I say and this times he cuts me off.
"I DON'T LOVE HER,INFACT I NEVER DID,I KNOW I DID APPROACHED YOU WITH A PURPOSE BUT THAT PURPOSE DIDN'T MATTER TO ME AT ALL",he tells me.
"What do you mean it didn't matter to you?,
Sometimes when I think about what you did,my head hurts and everything feels fake,it was fake,it was never real,when you....when you spent time with me,when you kissed me were you thinking of her?",I ask him and he immediately says NO.
"NEVER NEA,NOT EVEN ONCE I THOUGHT ABOUT HER,NOT EVEN WHEN YOU WERE NOT AROUND,FROM THE MOMENT WE MET,TO THE VERY END,MY MIND AND MY HEART WERE ONLY FILLED BY YOUR THOUGHTS,IT WAS ALWAYS BEEN YOU,NO ONE ELSE NEA,IT WAS YOU,IT IS YOU AND FOREVER IT WILL BE YOU,I DIDN'T REALIZED IT BACK THEN,BUT AFTER YOU LEFT,I REALIZED IT",he says.
I don't dare to look behind to see his face,what is he saying?
What does it mean?,I don't believe him.
"Why should I believe you?",I ask him.
"Because it's the truth",he says.
When I don't answer,he leaves his arms around me and he comes in front of me,he cups my face,he lowers down his head,he leans forward until his forehead touches mine and says the words that I have been dying to listen from him and I never did in the past and somewhere in the bottom of my heart I still do.
"WHAT I'M SAYING IS,I LOVE YOU NEA,I LOVE YOU SO MUCH,SO SO MUCH THAT,IT FEELS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO BREATHE WHEN YOU ARE NOT AROUND ME".
I freeze when I hear it,My tears running down my cheeks,he doesn't let it fall,he wipes it immediately,I look into his eyes and the second I did everything goes away,why do I love him so much?
But what he did comes to my mind immediately and I take a step back,he panics,he tries to hold me again but I don't want to stay here anymore,I want to go home.

"Warren please take me home",I tell him and he grabs my hands and takes me away from him,I don't know what he is feeling right now but I need time to digest the words he just said.
"Nea please don't do this please",I hear him saying behind me,I want to believe but I'm afraid to do it again.

I sit in the car,I don't look back at him,it pains me but I can't think straight right now.
All the way to my home,we both were quiet,Warren didn't asked anything because he was been in this situation too.
After we reached my home,we both go to our respective rooms.
I know he needs time too and I need too.
I can't fall asleep,I keep on hearing his confession again and again.

A sudden knock on a door pulls me away from my thoughts.
"Come Warren",I tell him.
"Can't sleep,can you?",he says and I nod my head.
He comes and sits beside me and says,
"Do you want to talk?",
I shake my head and he nods.
"Tell me about Nick",I ask him and he laughs.
"He is you brother idiot,don't you know him?",he asks me.
I shake my head.
"Not after you left",I tell him.
"What do you mean?
"He's too silent"
"Isn't he always like that?"
"He is but after you left he doesn't talk at all,he distanced himself from everyone,he moved out too after I moved out,he doesn't attend any functions,he only attends his meetings,his world only revolves around work now",I say.
He is just staring at the wall,so I continue.
"Tell me about him something I don't know",I ask him again.
He turns to look at me and says with a wicked smile,
"You sure you want to know?",he asks.
Oh I like that face he is definitely going to spill something which will blow my mind.
"Yes,I'm damn sure",I tell him excitedly.
"We both were Alphas",he says and I Don't know what that was supposed to mean.
"I don't understand",I tell him.
"Means we both were TOP",he says.
"Then who used to bottom",I ask out of curiosity but he doesn't answer that,he just forces me to sleep.
"No you can't do this to me Warren,tell me who used to be a top and who used to be a bottom",I ask him again.
"Shhhh.....go to sleep",he says.
"Fuck you",I tell him.
"You know baby you can't",he says and I laugh.
"Good night Nea"
"Good night Warren",I tell him and he got up and closed the door behind him.
Now I really need to sleep,I'm going to visit my parents and brother tomorrow and I don't want them to see me all stressed and tired.