HIS REGRET (1st BOOK) 18+

FOURTEEN : QUADE

My mind suddenly realizes what I just did,her eyes and face filled with hurt when she walked out,away from me,it hurt me too,when I know all am doing is betraying her,everything is a lie,but I swear when I touch her I can't think anything else,I'm completely a different person around her,I find myself wanting more and more as if I can't stop.

I doubt that if I even like cleo anymore.
I sigh as I push all the thoughts and feelings away,I look around it's a mess,I clean up all and went upstairs,did some workout because I know I can't fucking sleep tonight.
I have been struggling to sleep after my mom died,from that day I can't fall asleep without doing workout or taking medications,my doctor said to avoid taking too much tablets so I stick to doing exercises so that I can sleep when I feel completely tired by working out.

I go to sleep trying so hard to fall asleep,but thoughts filled my mind,even between these million thoughts,my mind stuck onto the moment where she came in my mouth,my dick twitches again,Fuck I hiss,stop thinking,stop thinking I say this like a slogan every single night after I met NEA.

"Mom",I scream ,"dad please don't do this her,please",I beg my dad,
when I went to stop him,he grabs me by my shirt and throws me on to floor, that made me open my eyes I wake up panting heavily, the fucking nightmares,doesn't let me sleep peacefully,
I go to kitchen to grab some water,it's 2am and I have no idea when I will fall asleep.
I go back to my bed,I think about the time I spent with NEA and just like that I sleep peacefully.

IN THE MORNING
I did all the baking stuff I had to then went near the counter,there are so many people and yet I DON'T SEE HER,is she not gonna come anymore?

I don't know,I don't have her number to call or text her,I should've given her when she asked for it,I curse myself,like the last time,I keep on glancing at the door,hoping she may come,hoping I could say sorry to her,I wait and wait and wait but she doesn't show up.

It's almost 6 in the evening,she is not arrived yet,I know she is pissed and I am the damn reason,yet I'm disappointed to see that she is not here,so I take my car and went near her home,her car wasn't there which means she is not home,I came back to my shop hoping she might come back.
It's 8pm now,yet she is not here,now am fucking pissed at....I Don't know what am pissed at,my body is not reacting the way it should,isn't this all good,if she will not come back then I won't be hurting her anymore,yup this is good.

I am an asshole,it's 9pm and am still waiting here in the shop thinking she might come,why is it important to me if she is pissed or not,it shouldn't matter but yet it does.

The door bell rings and I quickly lift my head to see, IT'S HER, my heart feels so fucking relieved,after what I did is something I can't figure it out,I got up and I rush towards her,wrapping my hands around her,tugging her too close to me,I breathe in her.

"Where have you been NEA", I ask her softly,more like a whisper,
Her hands wraps around my neck instantly but suddenly she pulls away,and fuck I feel so empty.
I reach for her but she puts her hand between us,
"Stop Quade,am not here for this,I'm going to ask you a very simple question and I need an answer, no excuses or no running away",she says.
I look her in the eyes searching for anything I can get but all I can see is Hurt,Anger and Fear.
So I just nod.

"Do you want to end this relationship?",she asks, making me lose my shit all at once,
I reach for her saying,"why would you say that?",I know I should've been saying YES,But I can't say that to her,how can an aggressive person become a soft person in front of another person,how did I become so soft,even though she is the only person who has seen this version of me,
She stops me again and that hurt me,I look her in the eyes when she says,
"YES OR NO QUADE,THAT'S ALL I WANT TO KNOW", she asks.
And I quickly shake my head saying,
"NO NEA I DON'T WANT TO END THIS RELATIONSHIP,I DON'T WANT TO END WHAT I HAVE WITH YOU", my mouth talks because I Don't have a control on it anymore.

"That's all I wanted to know", she says and I sign in relief and suddenly she wraps her arm around me,her fingers grabbing my hairs and she crashes her lips to mine,fuck I missed it,I missed it so much that it scares me.
I grab her by her waist,lifting her up in my arms and place her on one of the table,I grab her hairs as I kiss her deeply,she kisses me fiercely like she missed it just the way I did.
She plunged her tongue inside my mouth,she is so fucking hungry for my lips,I smirk against her lips,she tucks me even closer,her hands now trailing from my biceps to my ass,I let her do whatever she wants to do with me,I will fucking give in that's the least thing I could do for hurting her.
When I pull away,I see her eyes,she still looks hurt and fear is still lingering in her eyes but the anger has gone.

"I'm sorry,I'm so sorry,I Don't have any excuses for what I did,you can be angry at me for what I did but don't ever disappear on me like you did today", words coming out of my mouth without my damn permission.
She just nods.
"Give me your number",I ask her,
And she does and I give her mine too.
She got down from the table and she adjusts herself.

"Did you eat?",I ask her,she shakes her head.
I take her hands and I took her upstairs,she watched as we entered my home,This is the first time I have ever let anyone in my house,no one knows how it looks not even Cleo.
"Make yourself at home while I prepare dinner for us",I tell her,
"You didn't had dinner yet?",she asks.
No I didn't because I was waiting for her to show up,I don't tell her that,instead I just shake my head,she just nods in response.

"Do you like pasta",I ask her.
"I do",she tells.
"Okay",I started preparing when I turn back to see her,she is sitting on a chair opposite to the kitchen counter,I smile at her and she smiles back too,I feel nervous when I know she is watching me,SHE IS MAKING ME FEEL AND DO ALL THE THINGS THAT I NEVER DID IN MY LIFE.

After I'm done preparing and I take 2 plates and serve for both of us and I place it on the kitchen counter and I sit next to her on the chair.
"Eat and tell me how it tastes",I tell her,she nods and eats it,her eyes widen and she screams,
"God you are a great chef too", her eyes beaming with happiness, before I can think what am I doing,I grab her by her neck and I press my lips tightly to hers,she melts again and I quickly pull back,she smiles and I smile too as we eat in utter silence,so glad that she didn't ask anything further.