Forever Yours, My Love

I Can't Stay

Chloe's POV

By the time I woke up, it was a little hard to see, with the blinding light in my eyes, holy cow, did I die? Did I bleed out from the self inflicted wounds that I gave myself? Well I didn't give them to myself to stay alive, now did I? I wanted to go, I didn't want to be there anymore, I hated the feeling of being an animal in a cage. Who even does that, to their soulmate? Why were we even soulmates in the first place? All I ever saw was the fear in their eyes, and I knew they saw me as an animal, even before. I could just tell, it was better this way, maybe the connection between us was a mistake, and hopefully God could give them a soulmate that they don't fear. As much as it hurt to think that, with me still loving them with all my heart. I do, I still loved them, but I couldn't stay there, have them watch me like I was some animal at the zoo. To make it worse, my parents and siblings didn't want anything to do with me, thinking I was a murderer, I didn't do those things! It was fucking HYDRA! But of course not, of course they think I was in the right mind as I murdered those people. Why did I even want to come back? I should have known that it wouldn't be like it used to be. It'll never go back to that, as much as it hurt, I knew it would never go back to how it was. It just won't. Too much has happened, I knew we couldn't get past this.

But sadly I guess I didn't get what I wanted, because soon the bright light went away and I was looking up at a familiar ceiling, the Med bay. Fuck! Ugh! Seriously?! It was clear on what I wanted, I wanted to die! Because no one was treating me like a god damn person, they threw me in a fucking cage and threw away the fucking key! They feared me, they let people hurt me, how could they call themselves my soulmates? My parents? My siblings? Like what the actual fuck?! I sighed through my nose, this fucking sucks! I guess I was still alive after all, which was something I didn't want! I could feel my arm, it was sore, I'm surprised I can still feel it or move it after what I did to it. I definitely did a number on it. I looked over to the side, I could see a white bandage wrapped around my arm and wrist, but I could see where the blood soaked into it. I sighed again, ugh! I never get what I want! I took a second, just a second to lay there, but then I realized something, I wasn't chained to the bed. Both arms and legs were free, which meant I was free, the oh so lovely metal necklace wasn't around my neck either. I was free, I could leave right now, I could walk out of here, free. That got me sitting up, even though I hissed at the feeling my stiff muscles moving and popping. Fuck, that hurts. Okay, here we go. I slid off the bed and onto my feet, I moved around and stretched my body, oh that felt good. I looked around, I noticed I was alone, I sighed, like always. It seems lately I've been left alone, and honestly I hate being alone all the time. But I guess it's what I'll have to deal with, no one wants to be around me, so I guess I'll do them one better. I'll leave. Failed at killing myself, sadly. So I guess second best is leaving.

I looked down and saw that I wasn't wearing one of those weird gown things that people wear, that don't really cover their asses, thank god! But I can still smell the dried blood that was on them, but at least it wasn't noticeable, since my clothes were dark. I sighed again and ran a hand through my hair, fuck me, since when is this my life? Oh yeah, since the day I was born, fuck me, fuck my life. I shook my head, I should have known I wasn't meant for this domestic bullshit, I couldn't play house anymore, it wasn't like I was anyways, can't really play house while in a fucking cage, so yeah, I knew the honeymoon stage would soon be over, it ended the day I died. But even then, I knew they feared me, they try to hide it, but I know what fear looks like, I know what it smells like, so no, I'm not a stranger to fear, but I never thought I would ever have to see the fear in the eyes of the people I love. I will never have the life I wanted, where my soulmates didn't fear me, where they would actually love me, and see me as me, and not the werewolf/witch. But that's all everyone ever sees. And now that I've 'Murdered' people in cold blood, just makes it worse. I should have never came back, this wasn't home. It was hell. Everyday was a living hell. And I just wanted it to stop, I just wanted to leave, and this is my chance, I can go. And I'm gonna go. No matter what. They didn't want me anymore, they feared me, locked me up, let other people put their hands on me. I didn't want that, I rather be alone then to have that. So be it.