I'm really glad Raizen already knows that I like him, so I don't need to come up with an excuse for fondly watching him eat his lunch across me. Ang pogi, tangina.
"I pity you,"
"Huh?" Napakurap ako nang magsalita siya. Ano raw?
Tinuro niya ang leeg ko gamit ang kutsarang hawak niya, "That looks painful."
Kinapa ko yung leeg ko- ah, right. May sugat ako sa leeg and it won't take long for some of the other bruises to become visible. Pinagpyestahan ba naman niya kanina eh.
Nasaan kaya si Knox? Yayabangan ko na.
"Kinda, and the person who caused it doesn't even seem apologetic." I replied.
A light chuckle escaped his lips, "To be fair, I'm in pain too."
I definitely knew that. The sex itself was good but what actually got me was the fact that he trusted me. Ipinaubaya sa 'kin ni Raizen ang sarili niya, felt like I also came emotionally.
"What time are we going to pick up Mickey from your house nga pala?"
"Maya na, nasa bahay pa ata si mommy eh. She's just going to ask me about my brother again." I replied without thinking.
Now Raizen's looking at me like he's waiting for me to say something more. Mukhang kanina pa nga ata niya gusto magtanong eh, pinipigilan lang niya sarili niya.
Sinabi ko na sa kaniya na nawala si Conrad at kakauwi lang, pero nahalata rin niya na hindi lang 'yon ang problema ko.
Ayoko talagang pag-usapan sa totoo lang, at the same time parang deserve din niya malaman eh. He's concerned and I shouldn't make him worry for so long.
"Both of my parents want my brother back." Panimula ko. Tumango si Raizen at deretso pa rin ang tingin sa 'kin. "So.. pinuntahan ko kahapon si kuya Dominic."
"It didn't end well?" He softly asked.
Nadi-distract ako, ang cute-cute ng baby ko! Nasaan yung masamang ugali niya? Pwede pakibalik muna? Ah- cute din 'yon eh! Paano ba 'to.
Umiwas ako ng tingin, "Hindi naman, hindi ko lang nagustuhan yung naging usapan namin."
"What did you guys talk about?"
I whispered in response, "He wants me to take his responsibility." Binalik ko ang atensyon ko sa pagkain ko pero wala na akong gana.
"You seem like you don't want it.."
"Ayoko talaga."
"Then, why take it?" Inosenteng niyanong tanong na para bang gano'n lang kadali 'yon. Is it really that easy? Ako lang ba nagpapahirap at nagpapakomplika?
"Kasi may pangarap siya at ako wala?"
Umirap si Raizen at tumayo. Akala ko kung saan siya pupunta, tatabi lang pala sa 'kin. His body faces me as he gently held the side of my neck, tracing my wound.
"Just because you don't have a dream doesn't mean you should limit yourself. If wala kang pangarap, that only gives you an opportunity to explore. Wala ka na nga pangarap then wala ka pa freedom? Stupid."
Raizen's already frowning at me. Kahit ang hapdi ng sugat kong hinahawakan niya, napangiti ako.
Deserve ko ba 'tong taong 'to? Ano kaya naambag ko sa past life ko para rito? Gagawin ko na rin sa lifetime na 'to para hanggang next life may Raizen ako.
