𝐓𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 | 𝑺.𝑺𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒛𝒖𝒈𝒂𝒘𝒂

𝟑𝟕 | 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐇𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐡

~*~

A WEEK LATER ~ IN A VIlLAGE ~ (Mitsuri's POV:)

"Phew....."

After my patrol in my designated territory without Hayami, as I've tried to avoid her as much as possible. My body just felt so heavy and tired, dragging my dense body along while feeling the warm rays of the sun shining down. My stomach growls embarrassingly, and using alot of my energy eradicating the demons at night still hasn't worked my appetite as much.

Touching the faint scar across my cheek from my last demon, I grimace not because it was out of pain but it felt like something precious was spilling from the wide-open wound.

Making my way into the restaurant that Hayami and I would frequently come to, I ordered myself tempura rice bowl, soba, grilled fish, rice and miso soup. While this might have seemed like a quite a lot for someone to be eating first thing in the morning, it was only about a tenth of what I can consume. Before too long my tea was also brought out, as it reminded me of Hayami's teas that she always gotten.

Sipping it absentmindedly, a sigh leaves me feeling like I wanted to cry for some reason.

Ever since I blurted my reason in becoming a slayer in front of Hayami and Shinobu, and Shinobu especially. I've kept myself quiet and tight control, trying to keep my giddy feelings about anyone and everyone. To be quite blunt, I'm trying to secure and lock away the love inside me. To relinquish my wicked reasoning for joining the Demon Slayer Corps, for good and to push it all away.

To find a man to marry and spend my days with......

I tried to even banish the daily thrills and sparks of true love to focus on my duties, as the Lover hashira. However everything comes and goes in waves, left and right showing so many things for myself that would naturally get giddy over. This ridiculously poor timing made me want to cry so hard, and even recalling back to the last Hashira meeting to be an absolute disaster.

Recalling the many times I've spent with each hashira, like when one time I took shelter from the rain with the Flame hashira, Kyojuro Rengoku my mentor. He threw his haori over me saying 'You'll catch a cold! Wear this, Kanroji!'

Or when I've seen the Stone hashira Gyomei Himejima secretly cradling a kitten, telling it 'Namu. Cute kitty.....' and looking surprisingly adorable.

Then I would come across the Wind hashira Sanemi Shinazugawa sneaking food to what appeared to be an abandoned puppy.

Plus I would witness the Water Hashira Giyuu Tomioka dozing sweetly on the verandah, which set my heart pounding in how adorable he looked!

Then another time when I accidentally staggered and tripped, Uzui caught me on time, "Careful there. Don't go falling"

Then Iguro had invited me to a new udon restaurant in the village nearby, which I had to keep my heart under control when it threatened to pound in constant deligh, out of control was a lot for me at the times and then in the end......

'Misturi, is there maybe something you're worried about? I'm here to listen if you want to talk' even master Ubuyashiki is worried about me. And I ran away when Muichiro called out to me on the way home......

The worst it was. I couldn't even look at them in the eye, even including Shinobu and Hayami like I've mentioned. What am I even doing? Hayami was the first to reach out, and yet I ran out afraid of her judging me.....

My shoulders slumped forward with a dejected look, I picked up my tempura bowl staring at the food with no ounce of excitement or hunger. How can I keep going like this? I keep wondering this so absentmindedly, that it wasn't gnawing me to the bone from the inside and out. The piece of tempura I just had pinned between my chopsticks, slipped and fell back into the bowl finding myself feeling unwell.