𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝟓 || 𝐁𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐓𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧

CHAPTER 12: 𓆩⟡𓆪

It's dead silent when I get home.

My mam is at work and Caoimhe isn't here anymore.

I close the door behind me softly, Inhaling a deep breath as I walk in the house and upstairs to my room.

I'm so, so fucking exhausted.

I go up to my room and kick my shoes off, then put my bag down, then head to the shower.

I close the door behind me and stare at myself in the bathroom mirror.

All I see looking back at me is a fucked up and selfish teenage girl.

Not able to stand the reflection in the mirror anymore, I turn away and start taking my clothes off and running the water.

I hop into the shower and let the water cascade down my hair.

Maybe I was too harsh on Katie. Whether I like admitting it or not, she's a very sweet girl.

Hugh did well choosing her.

And I have to say, she tastes really good.

Fuck, no. No no no.

It's wrong. I just miss Pierce, that's all.

I should text him.

~~

I crawl into bed that night after turning my lamp off, groaning softly into my pillow.

Anger builds up inside of me and for no reason at all. My eyes well up with tears as I sit up, yanking my bedside tables' drawer open and searching around in there.

I pull out a razor blade.

I've been trying to stop but I can't.

I sniffle, my chest feeling tight as I let out a whimper.

Caiomhe, I miss you. I miss braiding your hair and listening to you ramble about boys.

Claire, god, Claire. I..

I bring the razor to a clear spot on my wrist.

I press the blade down, and my lips part at the sting of pressure, and then slowly, I drag the blade along my skin and blood trickles out. Moonlight shines on my bleeding flesh. On my shiny silver blade.

And the whole time I'm thinking about Katie and her soft lips on mine.