𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝟓 || 𝐁𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐓𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧

CHAPTER 41: 𓆩♡𓆪

Note: probably the most confusing chapter ,, err

Lizzie didn't know I had curly hair.

It makes sense, though. I always straightened it whenever I saw her or was going to school.

When she saw me get out of the shower and dried my hair for me, she was surprised.

Honestly, I'm not mad at her for not knowing. I'm happy she even acknowledges me like she does.

I'm wearing the clothes Lizzie let me borrow as I follow her back to Hugh's room. She has a towel wrapped around her body as she tries to find something to wear.

I take a careful seat on the edge of the bed, watching her.

The environment feels.. tense, all of a sudden. She isn't saying anything. Is it wrong to feel a little used?

Ugh, what am I saying. I wanted it. I shouldn't be asking for more attention than I already got.

She finds something to wear and lightly throws it on the bed, then unwrapping her towel. She dries herself up a little bit more before letting it fall to the ground.

I watch as her hands reach out and grab the clothes. She chose Hugh's hoodie and shorts.

She puts the shorts on first and I decide to speak up.

"Lizzie?" I murmur. I feel a little shy now and begin to shift around.

She stays silent as she gets the shorts secured on her hips. They're baggy - Granted, Hugh is bigger in size than the both of us.

She finally looks at me, and I know what she means even though she hasn't said any words.

It doesn't hurt to try.

"..We can try again," I say softly, my tone desperate. I grip onto the bedsheets underneath me. "I mean it. And this time, I can-"

"Katie."

"I can leave Hugh, and no one can know about us- No one will know about me and you! And-"

"Katie, stop."

"And when we graduate we can run away together, Lizzie!"

"Katie!" She finally yells and I gasp.

She's glaring at me now as she stands right infront of me, already completely dressed and mad.

"We can never do that and you know it." She says firmly. "Nobody will ever accept us. You know that neither of us will get over Hugh, too. It's a fucking waste of both of our times, so stop being delusional!"

I'm dead silent as she tries to calm herself down. She paces slowly around the room, refusing to look at me.

I guess no one wants me at all.

"No, Katie. I won't allow you to hurt me again." She mutters - She always needs to have the last word in arguments.

A pang shoots through my heart. "Me? Hurt you? I did nothing to you," My voice is so hoarse I can barely hear it. My vision clouds with tears. When have I ever hurt her?

"You did everything to me!" She screams. Her body whips to face me again and she points an accusing finger down at me. I flinch for just a moment.

"You don't think that contacting me only to get off hurts ME, Katie? You don't think me seeing you hang out with Hugh at school a day later hurt?" She said, her voice cracking at some points.

"All of it hurts! Every little thing! Even seeing you laugh or spend time with other girls hurts because that should be me!" She sniffles. "And I know... I know... that it can never be me."

"I don't understand-" I begin to say but she cuts me off.

"And God, everything is just fucking hell for me," She messes up her long, wet hair by running her hands through it.

"Lizzie, you're mad over nothing." I say with a shake of my head. It's clear in the way she bursted in anger that something is wrong. I always suspected that she was bipolar, or something along the lines of it.

I shift around some more, sitting more tense on the edge of the bed than I was before. My hands grip the sheets for support.

"I wanna be there for you again. I'm a better person now, just please... let's try again, please." I plead with her.

"I really do wanna run away with you. We can sit in fields together and just stare at eachother, and we won't have to worry about silly things like boys." I look away, instead looking down at my legs. I lightly swing them.

"And we won't need to worry about anything else at all except what we're eating for dinner and what movie we're watching for girls night." My voice gets quieter and quieter as I go on.

I need to live that life with her so, so badly. My throat closes and my eyes get a little blurry.

"Yeah?" She finally murmurs. I don't think she's crying anymore, but I'm too scared to look up and check her reaction.

I nod. "Yeah."

"Well," She finally begins to say.

"I'd rather die than do any of that with you because hell would be more welcoming than your arms, Katie." I can feel her eyes on me now.

"Because let's face it. You pretend to be all sweet and kind, when in reality you use people to try and get over the fact that no one wants you, really." She pauses. "Am I wrong?"

I bite my bottom lip to distract the pain in my heart. I shake my head.

"No?" She questions, her tone condescending. "That's strange. Especially because it's so fucking obvious how much truth there is in what I said." She bites.

There's silence, and then the miniscule click of the door closing can be heard.

And I stop keeping my emotions in.