𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝟓 || 𝐁𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐓𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧

CHAPTER 38: 𓆩♡𓆪

My room is a mess, according to my mam.

I think it's just cozy, but who am I to determine that? I've been stuck in bed for 3 days, maybe more. If it hadn't been for her walking in and nudging me awake, complaining about how I've been lazy lately and how my room needs to be cleaned, I would have never noticed. It must be really bad.

I sit up on my elbows and rub my eye. Thank God it's the weekend. As soon as I finish cleaning, I can head right back to bed. Schoolwork isn't that important.

My mam would kill me if she heard me saying that, because I go to Tommen College. One of the best schools in Ireland. If I slack off, I'm out.

I grumble and wince softly, my side starting to cramp and my stomach starting to ache. Just my body playing tricks on me. I'll live.

Ignoring the pain as best as possible, I roll out of bed and take in my room.

Clothes are strewn on the floor, old and new homework is scattered everywhere, empty bottles of water crowd one side of my bed, and it's definitely the worst my room has ever looked.

Ugh. I can do this another day, right?

I squirm to lay back down, but I look at my pillow. There's so, so much tear stains covering it, along with mucus.

Okay. Gross. I need to wash my pillowcase immediately. I may not have motivation for anything else, but I could atleast do that.

I groan and turn away from my pillow, stretching.

Time to clean up.

~~

After I brush my teeth and put my hair in a low ponytail, I finally attack the problem that is my room, despite the tears that burn behind my eyes.

I begin by putting dirty clothes in a hamper and hanging or folding the clean ones up, which threatens to drain the life out of me. My back is sore. I don't even know how it got to this point.

When I'm finished with that, I take a mini break. I'm exhausted just by putting clothes away. When did I get so weak?

You became weak when you gave up the only thing that made you strong, Katie.

And all of a sudden it feels like I can't breathe. I'm here, standing in the kitchen with a cold cup of water in my hands, unable to drink it or even inhale.

Because I know that if I inhale, I'll start sobbing.

It's okay. I got this. I can always go to Hugh or Feely for help. Maybe even Shannon.

But what will they help me with? Hugh doesn't know about my affair with Liz, Feely is his best friend, and Shannon deserves a break from being almost everyone's therapist.

I let out a tense breath, finally being able to bring my cup of water to my mouth. I take a sip of the refreshing liquid. It freezes my heart, and I wonder if this is how Lizzie felt before I came and destroyed her world.

I wonder if her heart melted or not. Maybe it did back then, but now, I think it ices up whenever she thinks of me.

If she's thinking of me.

I down the last of my water, welcoming the chilly feeling into my body, because it means that a part of her is with me, and that I feel the way she felt.

And then I rush back up my stairs to my room to finish what I started.

~~

After awhile of cleaning up, most of the mess is gone. I'm just sitting on my floor. I pulled everything out of my backpack to have a fresh start.

Firstly, I organize my paperwork that I collected from all around my room. I put what I need for school into my binder, then put old work into a folder.

I'm in the middle of deciding what trinkets and extra things go back into my backpack when I see a piece of clothing towards my right. That's weird. I put all my clothes away.

I put the earbuds and chapstick I was holding down, then crawl a short distance and grab the cl- Jacket.

It's a jacket.

How is this here? Did I not give it back to her?

I feel the gray fabric with my thumbs. Then, I bring it up to my face, smelling it.

My grip on the jacket gets tighter as I inhale a deep, deep breath. It smells just like her. After everything, the faint scent of her skin never faded.

Those tears I was trying to hold in earlier? They fall. And they don't stop falling.

My chest jumps up and down and my nose clogs. Everything is blurry. I can't stop replaying my memories with her. I can't stop thinking back to the very first moment...

I swallowed thickly and swung my backpack over my shoulders, grabbing the jacket and exiting the car aswell. I followed after the tall blonde.

"Lizzie! Wait! Your jacket!" I yelled, but I was always soft spoken.

I huffed softly and I jogged over to her, grabbing her wrist gently.

She looked down at me with a scowl.

"You... uh.. your jacket." I murmured.

She yanked her wrist out of my grip, "Forget about it. I don't want it."

"Oh."

We stare at eachother for awhile, me looking up at her, her looking down at me.

And then she turns and leaves.

My lips taste the salty tears falling from my eyes, and I squeeze my eyes shut, tasting them even more prominently on my tongue.

My hands tighten around the drinks I'm holding, and her tongue swipes against mine. I moan softly, pulling away and turning my head to not look at her.

"Lizzie, this is wrong.." I murmur.

"So?" is all she says, her hand turning my face back to hers.

She kisses me again, more hungrily, and I let her.

Goddamnit, I let her.

Heat builds up in my core as I start reciprocating her kisses with the same kind of hunger she has.

Her hand finds one side of my waist as she presses me into the wall, her leg slipping in between mine and keeping my weak body up.

Lizzie's hand moves from my hip to my waist, squeezing it before raking upwards and taking one of my breasts in her hands, groping it gently. My hips rock back and forth on their own accord.

"Beautiful," She murmurs, her pupils blown big as she gazes down at me, our breaths and my sighs intermingling.

I can see the flush on her cheeks and can tell she's drunk. I can't help the disappointment I feel that Lizzie wouldn't do this with me if she was sober.

Everything, everyone, every something in my mind needs to stop yet they just keep coming and I just keep crying, crying, crying.

I'm a trembling, shaking mess on the floor.

My brain is empty, but I do know one thing right now.

I'm never giving her jacket back.