𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝟓 || 𝐁𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐓𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧

CHAPTER 52: 𓆩⟡𓆪

I finally leave my room.

It was more difficult than before. Took me 5 hours just to shower and change my clothes. I must've spent an hour putting my shoes on.

I don't know the exact reason why I'm going out. I only know that I should. Maybe it's to show everyone that I'm still alive - Barely.

I walk down the street almost without a purpose. It's late in the afternoon, so the sun is setting, and there's that brisk breeze that you always feel around this time of day.

I don't have headphones in. Instead, I listen to the sound of life. I listen to the rumbling of cars and the footsteps of passerbys. I listen to the sound of my own clothes rustling, and I listen to the sound of my heavy, uneven breathing.

Where should I go? Where can I go? Is there any place where I can just think?

I keep walking. It seems my feet never stops. It's like my body itself knows to run away.

~~~~

"Lizzie?"

I shift uncomfortably on my feet. Suddenly I wish I never stopped by his house.

Joey scratches the back of his head before moving to the side so I can step in. His hair is all messy, and he has no shirt on. He must have been watching AJ. "Come in," He murmurs.

I keep my head down as I enter the home. I can tell he's still surprised by my presence as I take my shoes off and put them on the shoe rack.

"Where have you been?" He asks casually as he makes his way to the kitchen.

"Home." I mumble, getting comfortable on his couch. AJ looks over at me, holding a tiny airplane, before throwing it in the other direction and going back to doing his own thing.

"Yeah?" Joey replies. I can see him preparing a sandwich. I don't protest - I haven't ate anything at all today. "Well, we all have missed you."

I nod. "Where's Aoife?"

"Next door," He grunts as he closes up the bag of bread, putting it back into place on the counter. "Edel told her to stop by. Something about clothes she designed for AJ." He shrugs.

"Ah," I nod again, a bigger motion this time. "That's nice."

Joey proceeds to spread jam on top of the bread.

I like going to Joey for comfort. He doesn't push, or ask too much questions. He doesn't make me feel like an outcast. My words seem to flow naturally when I'm with him.

He walks over to where I'm sitting, holding a plate with a sandwich on it and a Coke. "This always used to make me feel better. It reminds me.. I don't know, about the past - But in a nostalgic way."

I sit up straighter and take it gratefully.

AJ has big googly eyes as he looks at my meal. He pants as he starts crawling eagerly towards me. Joey grins as he picks him up, "No, lovey. You just ate," He mumbles into AJ's hair. The little one squirms as his da kisses the top of his head.

I smile softly before taking a bite of the sandwich. The piece quickly sticks to the top of my mouth, so I have to wrestle it out whilst still chewing.

Joey lets AJ toddle around on the floor with his toys as he takes a seat next to me. "Why aren't you getting back with her?"

My stomach swirls and I fight to not throw up. I take a swig of the Coke to hopefully wash all of my feelings down.

"I can't." I murmur in response. "She's still with Hugh.. Hugh is still with her. I, well.." I shrug. "Shagged up the blond some time ago. Katie found out. It's all just shitty, everything is just shitty." I start to get defensive.

I grip the plate tightly for some semblance of control. "People have gotten suspicious of me, too. Think people are finding out I'm a little gay. And I don't want Katie to get caught up in all of that. It's, like, her biggest fear."

"What? People thinking she's gay?" Joey gently prods.

I nod, then shifting around as I think again. "Yeah, but, I mean, she says she doesn't care what other people think but I know Katie. She cares too much about every little thing, that girl."

Joey sighs, leaning against the couch and adjusting his hips. He keep his eyes trained on AJ as the boy picks up cars and multi-colored ponies.

I don't know why he has ponies. I just noticed it now after following Joey's gaze. Maybe Aoife wants him to be in touch with his femininity until he gets a sister or something.

"If it's meant to be, it'll be." The blond beside me finally says. I turn my gaze back to him.

"What?"

"Aoife and I have known each other for years before we started dating." he shrugs. "And during those years, so much has happened. She had a boyfriend. I dabbled in any fuckin' drug I could get ahold of. But when we finally got together, it's not like things magically got easier." He breathes.

"We both still struggled with school and getting money. We especially struggled with the drama everyone always spreads." He rolls his eyes. "And when AJ sneaked into Aoif's belly, swear to God my whole world stopped."

I meet his eyes. I'm desperate to know more, desperate to know his whole love story with the love of his life. But I know my place - Those kinds of stories are reserved for children, reserved for AJ.

"But if it's meant to be, it will be." Joey emphasizes once more.

He's right.

If Katie and I are really meant to be together, then we'll find our way to each other again like we're fucking attached or something.

"Yeah." I whisper, nodding my head as I look away and start thinking.

If it's meant to be, it'll be...

~~

Me: Let me come over.
(Sent 6:45 PM)

Me: Don't think too hard about it. I just need you.
(Sent 6:47 PM)
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