𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝟓 || 𝐁𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐓𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧

CHAPTER 53: 𓆩♡𓆪

Me: The door's open.
(Sent 6:58 PM)

~~

A text back from her was the last thing I was expecting. I sent that stupid message 3 days ago, I think. She only responded this late afternoon

I'm not mad about it. Why would I be mad about it? Nervous butterflies occupy a huge space in my stomach.

She's coming over.

For the first time, in a really, really, really long time, she's going to be in my house, under my roof again.

In my room.

Jesus!

I wonder what we're going to do. Should I shave again? Should I clean up my room? Should I try and make, I don't know, dinner or something?

Yes. Okay. I got a plan.

I'll clean up my room and then warm up some leftover dinner my mam made. Then I'll find a movie for us to watch and gather a bunch of warm blankets for us to lay on the couch.

We won't do anything unless she wants to.

"Shit!" I murmured. I lost track of time.

She could be here in any minute, what am I doing!

~~

When I open the door, Lizzie looks worse than I've ever seen her.

"Liz," I breathe, taking her all in.

She still has her long, pretty hair - Thank God. I was hoping she didn't chop it all off in her state. I know she's been going through way worse than me.

But her eyebags are deep, and I can almost see every vein in her translucent face. Her lips are raw and a deeper red in some spots from biting.

She tucks some hair behind her ear before shoving her hand back in the pocket of her black hoodie.

I offer a small smile. The clear image I see of her quickly turns blurry from my tears. I sniffle, getting out of the doorway and trying to blink my watery eyes away.

"Come in. I, ah, set up a movie in the living room. And there's snacks and blankets and stuff.." My voice trembles lightly.

She walks past me, entering my house. Finally. She's here. She's in here, with me.

I close the door and turn around to look at her again.

There's a comfortable silence between us. I think I'm content with it.

But maybe she isn't because she finally speaks up, saying, "I.. wanna take a shower. I took one earlier but - I just - I wanna shower here." She stumbles on her words.

I smile. "Okay."

~~

When we get to my bathroom, I strip her of her clothes carefully. I touch her scarred arms, her soft legs, her sides, gently removing her hoodie, bra, sweatpants, and knickers.

She tenses up as I do so. I understand why, but it still hurts knowing she isn't comfortable with me like before.

I tentatively pepper kisses on her collarbone when she's bare in front of me, and she only watches, feeling nothing. Showing no emotion at all.

Am I moving too quickly? She loves physical touch and kisses. I must slow down.

I don't know.

Just come back to me, baby.

I swallow the words stuck in my throat and turn my head to start filling up the bathtub.

In the meantime, I get a fresh towel ready. I tell her the stay in the bathroom, and that I'm going to be right back. She listens - Atleast, I hope she does.

I head to my bedroom and grab her a clean pair of knickers, along with a shirt and shorts. There's a row of cute little ducks on the shirt and the shorts are plain black.
Hopefully my clothes fit her though. She's a taller girl so of course our proportions aren't the same.

I walk back to the bathroom with the artifacts of clothing in my hands. I open the door and walk in, noticing Lizzie staring down at the water. The tub is halfway full.

I gently set the clothes down on the sinks' counter before rubbing her back in a comforting manner.

"I'll take care of you. Promise." I whisper as I stare down at the water too before looking up at her. Her jaw works. I can only hope she hears me and believes what I say.

I bend down slightly to test the water temperature again before turning the faucet off when the tub was filled all the way.

I brush past Lizzie to grab some bubble bath soap, and I pour a generous amount into the water, watching the bubbles swirl around and turn the clear liquid into only white.

Then I urge her to go inside and she does.

I take my time using my loofah and running the soap along her shoulders and arms. She has a soft expression on her face. She's letting herself be vulnerable with me.

I couldn't be happier.

After I rinse her down with some water I scoop into my hands, I lather her hair with shampoo, and my touch is extra gentle when I use conditioner.

I don't think I've ever cared for something as much as I care for Lizzie. I even dry off her body after the bath. I insisted she let me put clothes on her, but she said she's fine doing it herself.

Small victories.

~~

We're laying on my couch, watching a movie called She's the Man while wrapped up in cozy blankets. I can hear the light chirping of the crickets outside and some cars drive by. It got dark pretty fast. I'm guessing it's going to rain soon, too.

I can feel Lizzie's soft breathing against my neck as she lays behind me, her arm gently around my waist.

We haven't said much words to each other but this? This is enough.

We're about 30 minutes deep into the film when she whispers, "Katie."

My heart flutters and I rub her hand with my thumb to let her know I'm listening.

"I think..." She begins, her voice barely audible. "I think you're the only thing that keeps me sober."

Her arm tightens around me and she presses her face more prominently in my neck.

She presses a barely-there kiss on my skin.

Small.
Victories.