Hopeless - A Powerless Fanfiction

Paedyn

As he put me down, I couldn't help but wish I could've stayed in his arms the rest of the day. After what he said I can't get this fuzzy feeling out of my chest, my heart keeps hammering at speeds I never knew possible, and I can't help but feel slightly drowsy, is this what love feels like? Because if it is, I never want it to end, ever. 

Kai sat directly opposite of me at the small circular table, while Mak sat next to him, with three plates of stale bread and fish, it wasn't much, but it was way better than anything I had when I lived with Adena and when I was in Dor, so I'm not complaining. Kai, also seemed to understand, and didn't question the amount of food Mak could find. 

We all ate in silence, everyone focusing on only their food.

Well, that was until, "So... I think we should use our time as efficiently and effectively as possible, we need a plan to..." the words came from Makoto, and before I could stop him from finishing his sentence, "to overthrow King Azer" I knew he was going to say that, it was obvious, but I still winced at the words, not because I care about Kitt, but because he's Kai's brother and Kai cares, I can tell from the way his fingers still for a second, although the rest of his expression stays neutral and the same as before. His masks really have been crafted carefully over the years. 

My mouth is half full, so I just nod in agreement, but give him a death glare, hoping he'll get the message and shut up, but he's oblivious, extremely oblivious, and he continues "I think the best method to overthrow him would be t- Ow! " He doesn't get any further than that before I kick him under the table, and he just looks at me confused. I glare at him in annoyance at his obliviousness to the atmosphere of the room and finally he realizes and looks down at his plate in shame. I sigh in relief, but then I find Kai's eyes drifting between the two of us in confusion. 

I take a deep breath, letting my mind think of a different topic to talk about, I open my mouth to speak, but the words that are heard don't belong to me. They belong to the stormy-gray eyed man sitting opposite of me. 

"What did you think the best method to overthrow him would be?" his eyes show a hint of pain and worry, shit I think to myself, he must've realized what Mak was going to say.

I'm about to intervene, when Mak opens his mouth and says, "Paedyn, just let me tell him, he deserves to know, it's his brother..." I open my mouth to protest, but then close it, me and Mak had discussed this slightly before he went to bring Kai back here, he was right no matter how much I didn't want to admit it, Kai deserved to know, so I let him continue as he turns his attention back to Kai.

"The best method to overthrow him would be to-" 

"Kill him" 

Kai finishes the sentence for Mak, surprising me, he seemed unfazed by the idea of it. But that was just his mask, underneath all those layers of masks I know he was internally crying and that he was conflicted. He doesn't want to, and I can't blame him. 

Mak nods when Kai says the words, letting him know he was correct, we all sit at the table in silence, before Kai finally says "Okay... and how do you plan to do that?" 

Mak looks slightly confused, even surprised at how Kai had so easily accepted his brother's fate, his forehead forming a crease, but I know exactly what's going on, well I know what could be going on, Kai wants to know how his brother could be killed and save him. He wants to find another alternative, but Mak doesn't realize that, because Kai knows how to put up a facade, but I know how to detect one. 

"Kai, I really think you should take some time to let all of this sink in, it's a lot to take in" 

"I think I'm fine, the only thing I need time to think about is how much I trust you if you're willing to keep things like this away from me" 

I wince at his words, and before I can say anything to him, he's turned his attention back to Mak.

"I haven't thought that far really" is all Mak says, while scratching the back of his neck. 

"Oh, well in that case, excuse me but I think I'll go back to my room then" 

As he leaves the room, I can't help but sigh, I was annoyed, I was upset but worst of all I was lost. I was lost on what to do. I was lost without him. I was lost without Kai. I wanted him. I craved him. I needed him. 

And he needs me just as much as I need him.