Hopeless - A Powerless Fanfiction

Kai

As soon as I got back into the room, I collapsed on to the bed, as much as I hate to admit it Paedyn was right when she said it was a lot to take in, and I really do need time to think about the whole situation.

I still can't believe she, she of all people would try to do something like that. To kill my brother behind my back, I wouldn't be surprised if she wanted to pin the blame on me as well, saying I've gone rogue, what if that was her plan this whole time? What if everything she said was fake? What if everything was fake? What if every single thing she did was just a calculated move and nothing more? What if her feelings for me were all fake? I can't even trust the person I love the most anymore. 

As the thoughts overwhelm me, I feel my heartbeat quicken, my body is sweaty, my breaths are out of rhythm I calm myself down within a moment and think. I think about anything except this. I think about Ava, I think about her when she was alive, I think about how I used to play with her. I think about how I used to kiss the pads of her thumbs. That was the wrong thing to think about, it led me right back to Paedyn. I remember the ball when I kissed her thumb, how my lips found the pad of her thumb. I had only ever done that with my sister before, with Ava, but somehow whenever I was around Paedyn my guard was let down. She really was the devil in disguise as a deity. 

I hear the creak of the bedroom door open; I don't bother turning around I already know it's her, and I'm in no mood to talk to her right now, so I face away from the door, and pull the bedcover over myself and occupy as much of the bed, so that she gets the message. 

To my annoyance she tries to talk to me, "Kai, you can't-" I bring the bedcover over my face, so as to muffle the sound of her voice. Finally, she stops talking to me and decides it's a waste of her time and she lies down to sleep on the mattress on the floor. 

Only once I hear her breathing slow down, do I finally pull the bed sheet off of me. She's asleep, thank the plagues, it was getting stuffy under the bedcovers. I roll over to edge of the bed, and look down to see her sleeping peacefully, her hair fanned out beneath her like a blanket of silver silk. Although it'd been cut, she still looked like a Goddess. Short hair suits her, although she could make anything work if given the chance I suspect. Her skin looked smoother than silk, and I had to clench my hands to refrain from touching her. 

My mind flashed back to earlier in the evening. Her skin went the prettiest shade of red when I had pulled her into my lap, and I could see the lust in those big blue eyes of hers - she'd been turned on. If Mak hadn't interrupted us when he did... 

I tore my gaze away from her sleeping body, my jaw clenched at the unwelcome thoughts crowding my brain. I can't trust her. I shouldn't be thinking about her, not like this, she was, probably still is, thinking about killing my brother behind my back, without me knowing. How can I love someone I can't even trust. 

She really will be the death of me one of these days.

Another question popped up in my head, would I be able to cope with killing him? Would I be able to live knowing I'd never see him again? Would I be able to wake up knowing that I'm responsible for his death? 

A scream yanked me out of memories and into real life again, where the shadows grew long and the body on the floor was writhing with distress.

"Stop!" stark terror drenched Paedyn's voice. "No! Stop!" Five seconds later, I'd turned on the bedside lamp and was out of bed, ready to fight. I had no idea how an intruder had managed to get in the room without me noticing, but they'd picked the wrong place to break into.

When I looked around though, I didn't see anyone else in the room.

"Please, no!" Paedyn twisted on the bed, her face pale. Her eyes were wide open but unseeing. "You-" She choked like she couldn't get enough air in her lungs.

Nightmare.

My shoulders relaxed, before tensing again.

Night terrors. Powerful ones, if her reaction was anything to go by. She screamed again, and my heart tripped. I almost wish there was intruder so I could help her, but I couldn't wake or restrain her; that was the worst thing you could do when someone had night terrors. All I could really do was wait for it to pass. 

I kept an eye on her in case she hurt herself with all the thrashing, I hated feeling helpless, but I knew better than anyone that no one can fight our mental battles for us.

Within ten minutes, her screamed had quieted, but I was still tense. I really do wonder what the nightmare was about, what could haunt her at night this badly?

I already knew the answer before I asked the question.

Adena.