Prelude to kisses

Chapter 6

Gregory was already waiting for her on Monday when she got to work. His blue police uniform was perfectly ironed with a gun in its hoister. He was freshly shaven and smelled all things male. He smiled at her before moving to the cash drawer to count the starting float together.

 "Chichi will bring you the new keys to the safe later in the afternoon", he informed her after they'd finish counting the float. Chichi was his longtime girlfriend and worked at a library in town. She nodded and watched him leave and for a while she wondered about his life as she watched his retreating back.

Gregory was in his late thirties, a business owner and police man. He had rooms that he rented out and sometimes delivered building materials to individuals and businesses in his free time. It took a lot of dedication to be the man he was. A lot of sleepless nights and planning and time in executing everything he did. She wondered what the drive was behind his success. She longed to talk to him and ask him all of this, but he was barely home and most times Chichi would come in and relieve her or she'd just close up herself.

A customer walked in and one after another the shop was filled with customers and before she knew it, she was turning the open sign on the shop and closing up.

The night was beautiful, the wind blowing into her hair as she walked home. It felt simple again. It felt worth living...life felt worth living in that moment and she smiled up at the sky, the half-moon looking like a bitten apple smiled at her too, the stars seemed to be dancing, swaying in the sky, winking at her. 

They said that when someone died, they became a star up in the sky, she wondered if her granny was up there somewhere, drifting through the night like the beautiful light she was. Her throat clogged and her hand instinctively went up to caress her neck. Will it ever get better? Will the ache ever go away? Will she ever be able to remember her and smile instead of feeling this pain. The way Elizabeth sat, with her legs crossed in front of her under the mulberry tree in their yard, the way she looked to the side after saying something highly inappropriate. The way she ran, laughed, smiled, or her petite little body that always made her wonder how she was able to give life to seven kids. Her red and black attire on Sundays. 

All these things and thoughts would never go away, Elizabeth would live in her head and thoughts for as long as she lives. So how can a whole human being who had the power to give life to seven people become just a star up in the sky. What of those dreams and hopes. Like that longing she had of visiting South Africa. What of that? What becomes of that dream? How can someone leave a world they still wanted to be in, a world they had yet to explore?

She hadn't realized she was crying until she tasted the saltness of her own tears. Wiping them from her cheeks quickly, she turned into her street. It had become too dark for anyone to notice. She was about to open the gate to her house when suddenly she remembered a place nearby. She'd passed by there with Angie, there was a cliff just up ahead and she had wondered how it would look to be sitting up there in the night. She had put a mental reminder to visit one night, but never did.

Jackie ran into the house and grabbed a blanket, and the ice cream left in the refrigerator, running out of the house she climbed up the cliff and just as she'd imagined, it was a wonderful view. The only thought that came to mind in that moment was, dreams could be born here.

She noticed she wasn't alone. There was a couple standing a few feet from her and a group of people further away. Taking a long breath, she sat down and crossed her legs together, eating the ice cream and humming softly, she was a terrible singer, a friend of hers had once described her singing as someone being chocked. She had laughed along with her then and even then, she smiled but kept humming. She'd been told so many things through her teenage years, back then no one had a filter, words tumbled out of everyone's lips, and no one cared how it would affect the other person. Now in her adult years, it felt as though everyone was walking on eggshells around each other. Too careful not to say something mean or hurtful, their words lacked sincerity because they worried too much about how the other person would feel.

As she looked into the night, the city lights in front of her, cars and night colors, there was one building that stood out the most to her. It was the tallest building within sight, the most confident, the most glorious just the in the middle of it all. The roads, the trees, houses and all the other buildings...

And just like that a dream was born. She knew little about it but as she walked back home and looked at her room, at the representation it had in her own life, she knew in that moment without a doubt what she was put on this world to do. Jackie found her purpose. In her notebook, she quickly wrote I WANT TO BUILD HOMES.