Prelude to kisses

Chapter 38

It was a sunny day; the sky a clear blue with a few clouds floating in the sky. It was a perfect day. It seemed no wrong could take place on a day like this. Everything was the same, it was like coming here six years ago, coming to this very shopping center for groceries, or collecting the money her mom had send her monthly. It was coming here to take a walk. Like walking around this neighborhood again all those years ago. It was like any other day, only so many years had gone by, she didn't live here anymore, and she wasn't the same girl who had walked these streets and entered these shops anymore.

And she wasn't here with the same thoughts that had clouded her mind then. It was different. She felt it in her bones and through the blood that ran inside her veins. Everything had changed within her. Maybe not her feelings for the man in that building she was staring at, but she had changed. She was rich for one, she wasn't the girl that went to sleep on an empty stomach and struggled to find a job. She had a car now, multiple streams of income. She'd reinvented herself in ways she never thought would be possible for someone like her. And now she was going to do something else that almost felt impossible.

She was going to walk into that building, she'd talk to the man that held the past version of herself and put him to rest, as well as the girl he knew. She closed the car door after securing parking space. She'd worn very minimum makeup; her hair secured in a low bun. She wore a white v neck blouse and black jeans with very bright strappy heels. She wanted to feel like a grown woman, because if there was one thing this place was good at, it reminded her that she was still a little girl. And right now, she wanted to be everything but. She wanted to look like the woman he had on his lockscreen that day. She wanted to look grown, feminine and put together.

She smiled at the guard standing by the shop entrance. She didn't know any of them. Her eyes quickly scanned around her as soon as she was inside. She knew the shop like the back of her hand. She knew where to find what and where what was packed. She'd walked in this shop dozens of times and scanned these aisles so many times. She knew where to find Matt, and now standing here all she had to do was turn her head slightly to her left to the help desk and she'd find him. She took a deep breath, as soon as she turned her head, he looked up. Like someone had said his name, like he had known she was there.

She smiled; eyes locked on his. They were a brown pool of mystery just like she remembered. He still had his beard, nothing about him seemed to have changed. It was like going back in time and finding yourself standing right in the middle of the place you'd run from. He stood up, then hesitantly walked over to her. The last time they had said goodbye, he had given her an awkward hug before getting into a taxi, last time her heart had raced like this for him, last time she'd woken up to find out that he had a girlfriend. He reached her and stood a foot from her. He held out his fist and she gave him a fist bump, just like he'd done every time they'd run into each other here in the past.

She knew him and he knew her. And everything was coming back to her, she wondered if it was the same for him as he looked at her like that. He hadn't changed, and neither had she; she came to the realization, "Hey, do you have a minute to maybe talk?"

"Yeah, of course. Give me a minute".

She watched him walk away to log off. It was his walk, it was the way he moved, the way he handled himself, it was everything that made Mathew who he was that she loved and wanted to love. She wanted to hold on to him and never let him go. She was obsessed with the ease in which he walked, the way he spoke and laughed. She found him extremely sexy she didn't know how she had remained civil with him all this time and more than anything; she must have been crazy out of her mind to say she was letting him go back then. She should have taken what he was willing to give, and she would have lived a happy woman, a part of her thought.