Prelude to kisses

Chapter 48

She woke up on the couch, with makeup stains on the hand of the couch and a sore neck. The previous night's events played in her head, and she groaned. Loura lay on the other couch, still in her gown and a glass of wine on the floor.

She went into Chloe's room and couldn't find her. It was only when she opened the door to her bedroom that she found her mom and Chloe fast asleep on the bed. She breathed a sigh. The only thing they'd done right was put Chloe to bed, she thought. Her grandmother was still asleep in Loura's room. Goosebumps were scattered on her naked arms and Jackie reached into the closet to get a blanket. She was still sleepy, but couldn't go back to sleep, knowing that everyone would be hungry as soon as they were up.

The phone rang suddenly, "Hello?"

It was Mahita on the other line, she sounded frantic, "I have to fly out to Bulawayo in an hour, I send Marvin's nanny away for a holiday and now I don't know what to do. This was a last-minute thing, and my brother is out of the country, Neiko already has her hands full with her kids...", She went on.

Jackie quickly cut her off, "Bring him over on your way to the airport. I have Chloe for the next week, so it won't be a problem at all".

"Really, thank you. I will make it up to you I promise".

"Don't worry about it".

Loura came in, face washed and changed into jeans and her shirt, "You owe me a whole new wardrobe at this point".

"Who was that?"

"Mahita, she's bringing Marvin over for a few days".

"For someone who doesn't want kids, you're always around them for some reason".

Jackie scowled at her. She loved kids dearly, but every time she was around them, she realized how much she wasn't ready for her own. She could do it for a few days and even a month at times, but after that she'd be ready to hand them over to their parents.

Mahita arrived thirty minutes later, she couldn't make it out of the car because she was already late for her flight. Luckily Jackie's mom was in the country for a few more days so she could help with the kids while she worked.

She had been drawing up a new business plan for over a year now, but she hadn't really had the time to put it into action. It seemed there was never the right time. And also, she'd been thinking about buying the building in Bulawayo. She'd been thinking about it a lot lately, but something kept holding her back. At twenty-seven she was already a millionaire, had made all her dreams come true. She was at a point where she didn't need the money anymore, which was one of the biggest reasons she'd started this. Now that she had the money, she didn't know why else to keep doing it.

When you're not changing, you're dying. She'd heard that line from a seminar she had attended when she was younger. It felt true now. There was no drive in her life anymore. She felt like she was dying inside even if everything else in her life was going well...

==

Over the next few weeks and months, she started to notice it. His belongings seemed to disappear one by one. Every time she was over, something was missing from its usual spot. And she could see the weariness of his stressing addiction take form on his face. He became easily irritable, became hot and cold with her. Was doing badly at work, from what she'd heard from his coworker, who seemed concerned and had called her, he was performing poorly and at a point of being fired. She hung up the phone and sat it down on his now naked coffee table. She turned to him. He was going over paperwork, flipping through the pages.

She called his name softly, but he didn't look up, she walked up to him and held his hand, leading him to the couch. She didn't know how he'd respond if he knew his coworker had called her, so she decided to keep that information to herself, "Is everything okay?" She asked him as he sank into the couch.

"Yeah, why do you ask?" His attention went back to the papers he'd placed next to him. She followed his eyes there, but was afraid of what she'd find if she took a look.

"I don't know, you don't seem like yourself. I'm worried about you I guess".

He smiled and pulled her to his lap, "I'm okay, I promise". Jackie knew he wasn't, his face said it all. His voice said it, but she let it go and let him hold her and prayed he'd be okay. She wanted to take the burden off his shoulder, especially because she could easily solve his problem. But even if he'd asked her to help him, she didn't know if she could do that for him. His problems weren't easily fixed by money, he had an addiction and as long as he didn't make the decision to do something about it, this problem would follow him.

And as much as she didn't want to admit this, she didn't want to build a man. Jackie didn't want to treat him like her son. And most importantly she didn't want to mix business with pleasure. She wanted to be certain he was with her because he loved her and not because he saw her as someone who could fund his addiction and lifestyle. She thought back to how her mom had raised two kids as a single mother. Her mother had often recited this story to her when she started working and every time, she heard it she wanted to cry. Images of a twenty-six-year-old woman selling fruits on the side of the road played in her eyes like a slideshow. She wanted to erase that but when she thought about that she wanted to hold on to them so when the time came she'd be strong enough to walk away. Her mother had fled to South Africa with nothing btu the clothes on her back and two kids back home.

Jackie's dad had left them both for another woman and Loura's dad passed on when Loura was five, leaving her mom with two daughters to take care of. Despite all that she made it. She made a life for herself, send her kids to school and opened a business. And she'd done all that on her own.

Jackie had done the same, hadn't she. She'd built everything from the ground up. Restraining herself from buying things she wanted and avoided going to certain places for three years until she made enough to start her own business. She counted every cent, tracked where it came from and knew exactly where it was going. So why couldn't he do the same for himself? And most important, did she want that kind of man in her life?"

Jackie literally grasped at the question that had intruded her thoughts. She hadn't thought that far as to break up with him. It was a scary thing, even though she'd gone through many breakups. Even if it was probably unavoidable, she didn't want to take it that far. She wasn't ready to get over someone else. It had taken so much and so long to get over Mathew. No! She didn't want it. She wanted to stay together. She wanted him to get his life together and she'd wait for him even if it takes long.

Fear ran through her spine, and she went straight to bed, suddenly afraid of all the thoughts and scenarios her mind will start playing is she stays awake.