Prelude to kisses

Chapter 58

Five years from now, Laura stood in front of a full-length mirror just like this. Only then, she was not in a white floor length wedding gown, hair pulled into a low bun with a few strands falling on her face. Back then she had been in her grandmother's room, scared for herself, scared for the little person growing inside her womb. Her mother had been disappointed, of course she had. She had worried about what her brother's would say, but now she took pride in being a grandmother. She'd sworn it was only by the Lord's grace she had lived long enough to see this day, to hold her granddaughter in her arms. Laura could still remember Chloe being handed to her; it was something out of this world. They were feelings and emotions she could never put into words.

Her best friend Cindy stood at the doorway, "You are the most beautiful bride I've ever seen". She said, moving away from the doorway to stand next to her friend.

"Come on, don't exaggerate".

They stood there for a while, watching the past years of their lives play out in front of them.

Laura getting pregnant.

Laura dropping out of school for two years.

Cindy losing her mom.

Laura going back to school after welcoming Chloe.

Cindy graduating and moving to a different state.

Laura enduring the separation from Chloe and Raymond.

Cindy getting married.

Then the most pivotal moment in their lives- finding Jesus or rather Jesus finding them.

That had changed them, their friendships and private lives on a whole new level. And now here they were, seven years later from their meeting and they were completely different people. They were two completely different women.

==

Raymond Gore stood at the altar. Every single person he loved was in this room. His mom and dad, in the front, his little sister poked her tongue out before smiling at him. Laura's mom sat next to Mahita, Jackie, Jossie, Lee, Zendaya, Angie and her husband and kids. His friends and Laura's friends sat in the row behind their families. It was a dream come true. Only it was a dream he knew would come true. From the moment they'd met in high school, he'd known he was going to marry her.

At some point after Laura became pregnant though, that dream had felt far from reach, it felt like God dangled the dream in front of him, but he couldn't reach for it. When Laura became pregnant his family had been upset, his mom had cried for the first time in front of him. They were on their way to church when Laura and her grandmother came and broke the news. When they'd left and he'd admitted having been in a relationship with Laura and taken responsibility, his mom and dad had sat there dumfounded.

"We don't have to go to church", He remembered his father saying.

"No, we are going to church. We'll deal with this when we come back", His mother had said.

No word was said to and from church. His father constantly shook his head while his mother looked out the window. He could remember wanting so badly to disappear. When they were back home, they sat him down, asked him all the questions in the book. His mother had cried for the first time in front of him, he'd hurt her, disappointed her, most of all he'd disappointed God, she'd told him.

"You're a man now, you don't answer to any of us now but God", She'd told him. Her voice shaky with disappointment.

It was decided before Chloe's birth that his relationship with Laura had to end, that they were too young to be in a relationship and be parents at the same time. After Laura gave birth, the baby was to live with Loura's grandmother. Laura would go back to school, and he had to finish college and go on with his life. They could both visit Chloe whenever they wanted, just not at the same time or on the same day. His parents had been heaven send in raising Chloe and doing everything they could to be there for her. Chloe was surrounded by love since the moment she came into the world. He'd been the first person to hold her, he'd been in that delivery room with Laura when she delivered. Had heard the baby's wailing. The sound of his heart when she was placed into his arms.

The years they had spent apart had nearly killed him, he could have Chloe, but not Laura. Whenever he'd tried to get in touch with her, Jackie was like the doorway he couldn't go through, it didn't help that she seemed to blame him for putting her little sister's life on hold. Not that he could blame her.

Soft music started from somewhere on the speakers and his mind was brought back to the present. His baby girl walked down the aisle, her small hands throwing the flowers on the way as she came near to him. When she reached him, he kissed her and watched her walk to sit next to his parents. His mind went back to the years of separation from Laura, a part of him breaking into two at the thought.

On the outside, he was winning. He had it all. He became a financial manager at a world-renowned company after college. No one could have realized that he was losing himself to grief. He'd never known grief to be so consuming. It was really the first time it had ever confronted him, having had been raised by both parents under the Lord's covenant.

One weekend the pain of watching his daughter from across the screen threatened to devour him, the pain of knowing that Laura was living her life without him, he found himself at a bar. Drinking himself to unconsciousness. He was so drunk he wasn't sure what his name was anymore. God's voice spoke to him in that moment, his skin felt like it was on fire. He was familiar with it, only this time it seemed his heavenly father was angry with him. And he hadn't been angry with him like this when he'd lost his virginity, not even when he got Loura pregnant and it seemed like the two kept falling into temptation, unable to control themselves.

That night he'd left everything behind, quit his job and opened and restaurant in the span of a month. He could still remember walking into church for the first time three years and just getting on his knees, crying his eyes out for the man he'd become.

"I want my family back", he'd gathered Laura's family and his over in his restaurant and broke the news. Everyone welcomed it, gave them their blessings. Jackie was still hostile. She didn't trust him; he couldn't blame her. He started courting Laura again, in the right way this time. And when he was over at her apartment near the hospital she worked, kissing, they'd both stopped at the same time and looked at each other.

"I'm not... I think... ", He put some distance between them and started again, "I want to do it right this time. I want to be married to you this time before we have sex".

He was sure she didn't notice, but he had his fingers crossed, hoping, praying that she would understand. That she'd want the same.

Her face broke into a smile, and she said, "Me too".

As the soft music continued, his mind was a whirlwind of thoughts. Everyone stood, his bride walked down the aisle. Beautiful, perfect as she was; she was choosing him in front of both their loved ones and in front of the Lord with her arm in her late father's brother's hand. He was as happy as the day he held his daughter in his arm, maybe even more. He was so in love with this woman, and she was walking gracefully towards him to share that with him. To love him just as he loved her. Smiling, her eyes holding his. Never wavering, not even for a second from his own.

His heart, he realized had been guarded by the Lord since he was a child and now here, he was, a woman he loved achingly and fully wanting to share in that responsibly. He didn't realize he was crying until a tear fell from his eyes, her smile grew wider, "I told you I'd make you cry", her smirk said...