Prelude to kisses

Chapter 49

For weeks she convinced herself that they could work through it. It was when she discovered that he hadn't stopped gambling that she lost it. He gambled when he felt distressed, when he was angry or upset for whatever reason, his coping mechanism was to gamble. He was chasing losses by gambling more. One night, they had one of their ugliest fights, "If you don't stop, I don't think I can keep doing this with you", She told him; defeated now. Jackie wondered how she looked this man she'd been in a relationship with for over a year now in that moment as his eyes ran over her face as though trying to find a smile spread across her face, so he knows she's only joking.

She stood her ground, and watched the words sink in, "I can't stop right now. I might just hit big this time. This could be it, and I promise after that I promise I won't gamble again".

She shook her head, "No, you have to stop now".

She took her bag, she didn't want to be around him anymore, it had been one hell of a draining hour anyway. He'd need some space from her if he was to come to a decision.

"I thought you were spending the night".

"I was, but not anymore".

She closed the door before he could stop her, ran to her car and drove away. She only had time to see him stand by the door before she made a right turn away from his house. He was a lazy man, she realized as she drove deeper into the night. Where was she headed? She didn't know, she figured that question could be answered when she got there.

Whatever get rich fast scheme became popular he was the first to jump on it. Their beliefs seemed to clash, it hurt that it had to be this way when they'd come so far. Looking at the long road they'd walked on made it worse, if she'd known from the beginning that they'd have to take different directions far ahead, she wouldn't have even bother to start. With an incredible distance between them she realized she didn't want to ignore it anymore. It was ether he stopped, or they went their separate ways! Because Jackie was quickly losing grip on her own reality trying to fix his broken self. It was making him insecure, being in a relationship with a woman who had money when he was financially struggling and at this point all he was doing was dumping all those insecurities on her.

==

She hadn't seen it coming. When he called her a week later and asked if she could come over to his house, she'd thought he'd come to a decision. During the days apart she'd found herself engrossed in work and new projects and dates with Mahita and little siter when she wasn't at the hospital. She'd even taken a day out of the week to meet Angie and had dinner at a beautiful restaurant she'd been meaning to try. She kept her lips tightly sealed, quickly changing the subject when either woman mentioned his name. She didn't know where they stood now, with occasional texts and calls but nothing solid. She didn't want to tell them something she might regret later on when they were back together and had worked though their problems.

So, when he asked her for money, she was dumbfounded for a second before quickly gathering her thoughts again. She realized this was where she got off. It was a dead-end road and she'd be the only one that would get hurt, "You won't stop?" She could easily answer that question, but she wanted to hear him say it. Jackie wanted the words to come out of his mouth.

"I just... I don't need much; I just need to play once then if that doesn't work..."

"I... I don't have that kind of money", I'd rather give it to my cat that I don't own yet, she wanted to say but bit her tongue.

"You said you were worried about me", He accused.

"I am".

"Then why won't you help me?"

"This is something you have to figure out by yourself. I will support you. I know you will get through it; I trust you to".

He looked defeated, and even angry. Those weren't the words he wanted to hear from her right now and she knew it. She couldn't bring herself to feel sorry for him. He'd done this to himself, Jackie wasn't going to let him take her down with him. She left, after he'd fallen asleep, closing the door softly behind her. She wondered what meaning their relationship had held for all this time if not for helping each other through tough times. Again, she searched through her memory for the image of her mother selling fruits on the side of the road. She wouldn't be guilted by her own emotions to help him out when she was uncomfortable with it. She made a clear decision as she walked to her car.