Prelude to kisses

Chapter 16

Her bags were all packed, standing on the doorway. She couldn't take much; it would cost too much. She left everything in Angie's hands and the rest Angie would sell when she had the time. They sat at the table sipping Angie's grandmother's favorite lemon tea while they waited for Dylan. He had been nice enough to offer her a ride to the bus station.

"I'm going to miss you", Jackie told her friend.

"I'm going to miss you even more, but I will call every night, and we can always schedule a visit. You know the door is always open".

"Are you going to be okay on your own".

Angie took a deep sigh, looking around the apartment and already feeling the emptiness and loneliness that would soon accumulate the place, "Yeah, I'm sure", she gave Jackie a reassuring smile before taking a sip of her lemon tea.

Jackie wasn't convinced, Angie had never really been alone, much less lived alone. She'd always had someone by her side. She fussed about being home alone and preferred going to Jackie's job to wait for her so they could go home together, got annoyed when she came home to find Jackie sitting in the dark because it made the house feel lonely. When Jackie went home for the holidays, she always asked one of her cousins to come visit. She just loved going home to someone and more so loved sharing her space with people she loved. Jackie knew that this would be a huge change for her friend too. They'd lived together for three years and had gotten comfortable with each other's good and bad habits. She didn't know how she'd cope without her either.

The drive to the bus station was quiet, she needed some time to process that she was really leaving it all behind to start on her own. She'd miss Angie and Dylan and Gregory. She'd miss the town and vibrant energy. But this was her stepping out of her skin into a new one. This was Jackie choosing to do something that scared her and leaving it all behind to go fulfil her dreams in a completely different environment.

When the car came to a halt at a parking lot close to the bus station, no one moved. No one said a word as they just sat there and really came to terms with what was happening. 

After some minutes, Angie turned to look at her in the passenger seat and asked, "You ready?"

She'd wanted to belong here, she'd literally fought to belong to this place, but everything was wrong. She'd stepped on the wrong foot from the very beginning and that was something she couldn't fix.

"Yes", she said as she got out of the car. Before they knew it, her bags were being carried into the bus and she was ushered in. It was all too much to process until they all realized there was never going to be an easy way out of this. There was never going to be the right moment or right words said. This was just one of those times you wish someone well and let them go, like her grandmother would say, beating your heart on a stone.

She put on the most cheerful smile and hugged them, telling them how much she'd miss them and watched them walk back to the car. Angie waved to her until the car was out of sight. As she sat in the bus waiting for it to fill up, she went over her plan once more in her head. She was to arrive in Victoria Falls in eight hours, Jossie would be waiting for her. She was to live with her for a few days until she got an apartment. Jackie had done her research on a few neighborhoods and asking prices in these places. Jackie felt confident, she knew exactly what she wanted, and she had everything planned in the little notebook she had been carrying around for the past two years.

Jackie had looked at a few construction companies and had run down her list to five. She had to visit each one of them and see if their visions aligned. It was important to her that the construction company she worked with had the same goal as her. 

As she sat on the window sit, the bus perfectly still, with the world moving at a fast pace she felt a fire burning inside her, she felt a fire so bright, her throat started to dry up and she had to take a gulp of water to put the fire out. She didn't know what the future held, didn't know what would become of this dream, just that it kept her up at night and she needed to make it a reality. And she had faith that whatever step she'd need to take, God would show her. That he'd lead her into the right direction.

A young women found a seat next to her, she had a toddler in her arms which made it difficult for her to sit on the aisle seat, Jackie happily exchanged seats with her. Her baby boy was so adorable. The young woman later shared that her name was Tanatswa. She had been visiting her husband's family and was now headed back home. She shared how excited she was to see her husband after two weeks. She added that she was really worried because he was really bad at cooking, and this was the longest she'd been away. She had a fresh energy about her, it was like hearing a different side to marriage she hadn't really thought existed.

Everything else blurred in and out of focus as she fell asleep and woke up again throughout the entire journey. She was really running away, not from herself, but from everything that weigh her down. That made the moment worthwhile. She felt like she was stepping into a different version of herself, and she willed it different. She willed it amazing and exciting. The woman got off at some point during the ride. As she got closer to her destination, she realized how much she needed this...