The Tour

10

A few hours had passed since the fight and I had managed to make my way to my tour bus. Shock was still running through my body and the moment played over and over again in my brain. He hit me. He apologised. Then proceeded to just watch me cry and sit alone whilst he was shouted at.

All I'd done since I got into the bus was just stare at the makeshift kitchen opposite the couch. I could cook food. But I had no appetite that would be a waste. I could make a cup of tea or even have some water. But that required energy and I barely had any of that. I could sleep. But this evening had already felt like a nightmare and I wanted to wake up. But there is no waking up from this. It happened.

As I wiped away the last few tears from my cheek a loud knock echoed through the bus

"Come in" I shouted not caring who it was

"Nicky it's locked" they shouted as I rolled my eyes and forced myself off the couch and made my way to the door opening it to reveal a clearly drained Luke. "Hi" he said smiling slightly as I turned around and walked back onto the bus leaving him at the door

"Can I come in?" He shouted as I nodded knowing he could still see me

"I got you these" he said placing down a box of chocolates and flowers on the table

"Thanks" I muttered appreciative of his small attempt at resolving the issue

"I am really sorry Nicky" he blurted as I nodded

"I know Luke" I said bluntly there was no way I was able to accept any apology from him at this point knowing his attitude towards it could change any moment

"If I knew I was going to hit you I would have never done it"

"So you would have hit Michael that's good to know" I snapped back

"That's not what I meant Nicky" he replied as I shook my head at him "look a lot has gone on recently with you and I and that song it just made me snap" he said as I looked at him confused

"Are you joking? Can I just recap with you the things that have happened recently...you cheated on me, you then proceeded to write and perform a song a mere few days later making me look bad and then you sleep with me but that's not it. We then when we get caught you say it's simply just sex and that you don't want me whilst also calling me a mess but then to top the whole thing off before you go to punch Michael that actually ends up hitting me you say you love me... and not once in all of those situations did I react the way that you did this evening" I replied as he sighed and sat down next to me on the couch still looking as white in the face as he did earlier

"I know and I'm sorry I've made you feel so awful the last few weeks but I meant it I love you Nicky" he said as I shook my head

"I don't buy it Luke we're going around in circles. You're nice to me for 48 hours tops before something switches and I'm your biggest enemy ever" I replied as he nodded

"I can work on that"

"I unfortunately don't believe you" I sighed fighting everything in my brain telling me to believe him and take him back.

"Can I ask you something?" He asked as I hummed in response confused as to why he was trying to shift the conversation

"Why did you defend me to the boys, you didn't have to tell them it was an accident"

"You protect the people you love Luke" I replied as he smiled slightly at me and opened up his arms

"One hug that's all I'm asking for"

After everything that happened today I'd be stupid to not take him up on his offer for a hug. A bit of human connection was what I needed and had been craving since the argument began.

I quickly shuffled over to him and placed my head on his chest and let him tightly wrap his arms around me. His scent instantly put me at ease making my eyes become heavier.

"What do we do about the house Nicky?" Luke asked as I sighed and shook my head

"I really don't want to think about that right now" I replied as he hummed "we can work that out at the end of the tour"

"You're staying?" He said sounding shocked as I looked up to him confused

"Why would I leave?"

"The boys were going to have a conversation with you tomorrow about possibly leaving, none of us wanted you uncomfortable or scared after what happened" he explained as I nodded

"I don't plan on going anywhere Luke" I said yawning as he began playing with my hair

"Get some sleep, I'm right here I'm not going anywhere any time soon just rest up please" he said as I nodded finally giving into my body and falling asleep in his arms.