The Tour

33

A short white dress sat perfectly on my body hugging every curve I had doing nothing but complement the shape I had. I ran my fingers down the fabric trying to encourage any of the creases to disappear after it had laid in a case for weeks un touched.

I quickly walked over to the small bathroom mirror checking that my hair was still straight and that my makeup had not budged. There was something about lunches with management that always made me more nervous than I needed to be. These people are my bosses I had an overwhelming fear that I'd done something wrong and that these dinners were to tell me my career is over.

I loud knock overtook my thoughts as a shout of my name swiftly followed. The voice was clearly Luke's and the pit I've had before began to return.

"Not now" I whispered to myself hating this feeling completely

"Bad time?" He questioned looking at me smiling

"No Luke, I thought I was meeting you there?" I questioned not wanting him to ask why I was muttering away to myself

"I thought I'd walk with you didn't want you to be alone. I know how much you hate going into places alone" he awkwardly said as I nodded appreciative of the gesture

"Oh thank you" I whispered not wanting to show much I appreciated that he'd remembered something so small about me considering we hadn't gone anywhere together in months

I picked up my phone off the side and glanced over the messages and notifications I had from friends and family and focused on one specific message

Oli: You look stunning, enjoy your meal. I'll speak to you later xx

His reply to a simple photo of myself in the dress was all I needed to make my confidence and mood lift higher than I'd expected it to. The sense of missing him was as strong as you could imagine but I couldn't let it overwhelm me. I had to live my life, long distance is hard but it's not forever and that's all I had to remind myself.

"Can I just say you look stunning Nic" Luke coughed as I felt the pit in my stomach grow again as my cheeks grew red from embarrassment

"Oh um thank you" I blurted out of politeness not really knowing how to reply to him "let's get going?" I suggested a he nodded and led the way out of the bus and onto the street.

He stood close to my body allowing the scent of his aftershave to linger in the air surrounding us. The scent was one I was familiar with but would do anything to never have near me again. Scents hold memories and I don't want any more created with him.

I lightly felt his fingers brush against mine making me change my arms to a folded position knowing that if he's given the chance he would try hold my hand to appease others who were looking as we walked towards the Italian restaurant ahead of us.

"Lady's first" he said as we approached the large wooden door opening it for me slightly allowing me to walk in revealing the lightly light restaurant which had been covered in flowers through all the walls as soft music played.

"Table for Hemmings" he said to the waiter as they nodded and guided us to a table.

A table for two.

"Luke" I said clearly annoyed as he looked at me sheepishly

"If I'd asked you on a date you would of said no" he replied pulling a seat for me to sit down on as I shook my head and moved to walk away before his arm slammed against my chest blocking my way "sit down Nicky, one meal that's all I'm asking for" he said sternly as the darkness I was too used to overtook his eyes.

Knowing better than to argue with him when he was in this mood I sat down knowing this was a battle I probably wouldn't win this evening. All I wanted to do was get my phone out and ask someone to come to collect me but I knew that would add fuel to the fire and wasn't worth the time.

"I meant it when I said you look stunning tonight" he said sitting himself down as the pit in my stomach returned again causing me to clutch at my stomach slightly

"Cramps?" He asked as I shook my head "god don't tell me he's got you pregnant" he laughed as I felt an anger overtake me as I stood up

"No Luke its you!" I practically shouted causing attention from other restaurant guests "I cannot be in the same room or listen to you talk without this stupid feeling in my stomach appearing" I snapped as he looked at me with anger

"Sit down Nicky" he said through gritted teeth as I shook my head

"I'm going home I don't feel well" I said as he rolled his eyes

"You're fine Nicky you just have butterflies, the same butterflies you got when you first met me ... heck the same ones you probably got when you met him" he said as I felt the anger rise through my body

"He has a name and it's not butterflies" I snapped as he laughed

"I couldn't care less if he has a name Nicky he's irrelevant to me and I'd put money on it being butterflies" he said standing up and looking me dead in the eyes "now please sit down and enjoy a meal with me" he whispered pointing to the chair behind me.

"Go fuck yourself" I snapped pushing past him not wanting to look at him any longer and began to make my way out of the restaurant. The pit in my stomach was still present and I couldn't help but start to think about if Luke was right. Were these butterflies? Surely not? They can't be? This is not the same feeling I had when I met Oli or are they the same feelings I had when I met Luke. They aren't butterflies.