The Tour

56

Packing up our home in LA felt surreal. The day had come sooner than I expected, and with every box I sealed, the reality of our separate paths hit me a little harder. Luke was stacking books into a cardboard box near the window, his movements slow and deliberate. I knew he was thing to avoid looking at me, and honestly I was doing the same.

Tomorrow, I'd be on a plane to London, ready to start a new chapter with Oli. Luke, on the other hand, was moving into Michael's place for the time being till he found somewhere he could call his own. We were going in completely different directions, and for the first time, it didn't feel painful. It felt right.

"Hey remember this?" Luke's voice pulled me out of my thought as he held up a chipped coffee mug. One she had got from a tiny diner on our first road trip together. It had been pouring rain and we ducked inside soaked and shivering laughing at our bad luck.

"Yeah, they swore they had the best pancakes in the world" I smiled taking the mug from his hands

"They did" he said with a grin but it faded quickly "we were so happy that day" he said as I nodded running my thumb over the crack in the handle

"Yeah we were. But we were also two years younger and newly in love. Everything felt like an adventure back then"

"I know" he said softly, taking the mug back and placing it in the 'donate' box "doesn't make it any easier though" he said as we fell into a comfortable silence, continuing to pack up the life we had built here. I picked up a worn leather jacket from behind the back of the couch and held it up

"My god I can't believe you still have this" I said as Luke chuckled

"You used to steal that all the time. I assumed it was long gone" he said as I smiled

"It smells like you" I admitted, pressing it to my face for a brief second before tossing it into his suitcase. "It reminds me of those late night walks we did when I used to visit you on tour" I said as he nodded

"And sneaking into hotel pools" he added smirking. We shared a laugh, and for a moment it was easy to forget the tension that has been sitting between us for months

As I taped up another box, I found an old Polaroid tucked between two books. It was us from the first time I visited Luke on tour. Us smiling, faces pressed close, eyes full of love and promise. I geld it up to him, and he swallowed hard

"That feels like a lifetime ago" I said

"It does". He agreed "but I'm glad we had it"

I nodded, placing the photo carefully in my purse instead of the trash. Some memories were worth keeping. After a while, Luke wiped his hands on his jeans and leaned against the counter.

"So ... what's next for you Nicky?" He asked as I sighed knowing this was coming

"I've been thinking about it. And ... I think I need to take a break from music" I said as his brows furrowed

"What! What? Nicky, last nights show was incredible. That song was insane. You're at your peak" he said as I shook my head

"I need time away from the spotlight. I need to figure out who I am outside of all of this. I'm moving in with Oli in London. I just ... need some normality" I said as Luke's face fell slightly, but he tried to hide it

"You sure about this?"

"I am" I said firmly "I haven't made this decision lightly Luke" I said as he nodded slowly looking down at his hands

"I just think you're making a mistake. You're meant for this life" he said as I smiled gently appreciative of his kind words

"And maybe one day I'll come back to it. But right now I need to step away" I explained as he sighed and ran a hand through his curly locks

"Alright. If that's what you need, then I support it." He said as I reached out for his hand and squeezed it lightly

"Thank you" I said as he cleared his throat

"So... what do we do about telling everyone" he said as I sighed already feeling the weight of it

"We should probably just put a statement out on Instagram. Something that explains we've gone out different ways but there's no bad blood" I said as he nodded

"We can do it together. That way it feels...mutual" he said as I smiled

"Agreed"

The next hour was spent drafting the post carefully to be honest but respectful. When we finally hit publish there was a strange sense of finality in the air. It was out there now. Our story had officially ended in the eyes of the world

"Firstly I'd like to thank the 5 seconds of summer boys for having me on tour with them, it is truly an experience I will never forget. However there was a large amount of things happened behind the scenes that you may have been unaware of. Unfortunately the first night of the tour Luke and I decided to end our relationship.

Whilst I understand you may feel as though an explanation is owed for behaviours that have happened during this tour, all I can say is going forward please don't believe everything you see online. I would like to clear up that I never once cheated on Luke and met Oli for the first time around a month after we broke up.

Although we have our differences I will always wish Luke the best and want nothing but the best for both him and his career. For the time being I ask that you respect both of our privacy as we both take well deserved breaks and I look forward to seeing you all again soon when the time is right!

Nicky x"

"We had a good run didn't we" Luke suddenly blurted breaking the silence

"Yeah we did" I smiled through the large lump that was lingering in my throat

That night I laid in my hotel room bed with Oli's arms tightly wrapped around my body

"You okay my love?" He asked as I nodded

"Yeah" I whispered in response staring at the ceiling "I'm okay"

And for the first time, I really meant it.