The Tour

54

I stepped into the party, the heavy bass thumping through the floor, vibrating up my legs as I scanned the crowded room. The air was thick and the scent of expensive perfumes, champagne, and the subtle musk of too many people packed into a space too small for this kind of ego-driven gathering. Neon lights cast shifting hues of blue and purple across the venue, painting it in a dreamlike state. Laughter and conversation swirled around me, a chaotic symphony of voices competing for attention.

I tugged at the hem of my short black dress, the one Luke loved, annoyingly the only clean one I had in my suitcase. Although it did boost my confidence due to the way it hugged my figure in all the right places, and I couldn't deny that a small petty part of me enjoyed knowing it could catch his eye. But that wasn't why I was here. I needed to confront him, to demand answers, to get closure once and for all.

As I made my way through the crowd, I spotted Michael by the bar. He grinned when he sawn me, lifting his drink in greeting

"Nicky! You made it"

"Of course" I said forcing a smile as I leaned in for a quick hug "Couldn't miss it" I said as his eyes flickered over my dress as a knowing look appeared across his face

"Nice outfit. Someone's making a statement's" she said as I rolled my eyes and chose not to respond

Instead, I felt it... the unmistakable pull, like a threat tugging at me. I turned my head and locked eyes with Luke across the room. He was leaning against the far wall, drink in hand, looking every bit the asshole he always was. His blue eyes were unreadable, but I saw the way his gaze dropped for a split second, taking in the dress before returning to meet the hazel in my eyes.

I didn't hesitate in moving and with each step, the music and chatter faded into a dull hum in the background. The sound of my heels clicking against the floor creating a steady rhythm carrying me straight to him.

When I finally reached him, I didn't even wait for him to speak. The words tumbled out of me like a dam breaking, my emotions spilling everywhere.

"What the hell Luke? An entire album dedicated to painting me as the villain? Do you have any idea how humiliating it is to hear everyone talking about it, dissecting our relationship like it's an episode of a tv show" I said as Luke just sipped his drink, his expression infuriatingly calm.

He didn't say a word, just let me go on.

"I get it okay? We didn't work out. But you don't get to twist the narrative and make me look like the bad guy while you come off as a heartbroken saint. It's not fair. I've moved on, I'm happy, and yet here you are making me relive it all over again" My voice cracked slightly, I hated that he could still do this to me, still get under my skin in ways no one else could. I swallowed hard and crossed my arms

"For god sake say something Luke" I snapped as he sighed and set his drink down on the table next to him

"Go home Nicky" he said taking me off guard

"What?!" I said as he leaned in just enough for his next words to cut through the noise surrounding us

"Go home. Listen to the album again. But this time, focus on the credits. See who wrote what"

His words left me frozen with confusion swirling in my chest alongside a new pit in my stomach. Without another glance, Luke turned around and disappeared into the crowd, leaving me standing there, my heart pounding in my chest. I didn't stay another second. My heels clicked urgently against the floor as I pushed through the gathering of people, barking saying goodbye to Michael as I left.

Back on the tour bus, the hum of the engine was the only sound that filled the space, apart from Oli's steady breathing beside me in the bunk. He was fast asleep, one arm draped over my waist in a way that usually made me feel safe. But tonight, I couldn't settle.

I reached for my phone, my hands trembling slightly as I pulled up the new 5sos album and scrolled through the credits. My eyes widening as I checked each song.

The only songs that had been written by Luke were Best Years, Lover Of Mine and High. The gut wrenching toxic tracks that I thought painted me as the villain weren't his words at all. They were songs that had been written by Ashton, Calum and Michael.

Shock courses through me as I stared at my screen, my mind racing. He hadn't been trying to tear me down. He'd only written the love songs. The songs that spoke of longing, regret and hope.

I put my phone down, sinking deeper into the pillows but my heart wouldn't settle. Thought of Luke swirled in my head clashing with the guilt weighing me down. I loved Oli. I did. But knowing that Luke had only written about love... real unfiltered love, made me feel something inside me ache in a way I didn't want to admit.

I closed my eyes and pressed my head against Oli's chest listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. I wanted to focus on him, on us, but Luke's words telling me to re look at the credits echoed through my mind. It was a weird way of doing it but it was his way of telling me he hadn't painted me out as a bad guy at all .

I tossed and turned, the weight of what I had just discovered pressing down on me. Every song replayed in my mind, every lyric dissected and analysed in ways I didn't this morning. Why did the other boys write these songs. Where they about their own ex's and relationships or where they taking inspiration from what they saw with me and Luke. Did Luke agree with them if they were about me or was he just letting the boys take out their own frustration whilst he stayed buried beneath the noise?

I turned onto my side waiting Oli's peaceful face in the dim glow of my phone screen. He looked so serene, so sure in his place beside me. I was jealous of the current peace he was having experiencing as I laid restlessly.

Unable to help myself, I grabbed my headphones and quietly slipped them in, pressing play in the album once more. This time, u listened for his voice, not just the lyrics, but the way he sang them. The love songs, the ones he wrote were now different. There was a tenderness, an ache that wasn't there in the other tracks. It felt real. Too real.

Tears kicked at my eyes, and I wiped them away quickly, angry with myself for even feeling this way. I shouldn't care. I shouldn't feel this pull towards him. A quiet sigh escaped me, and I nestled closer to Oli telling myself that this was where I belonged. I reminded myself that Oli was the one who had been there for me, who had stood by me when everything else fell apart. I was happy with him, and that was all that truly mattered.