The Tour

55

A few days had passed, and it was finally the last day of the tour. I hadn't listened to the album since the release day, and I had made a conscious decision to not look at Luke's fans reactions online. I was choosing to leave it all behind once the tour ended. But deep down there was a part of me that knew I needed to apologise to Luke for the way I had accused him of making me look bad.

The venue was bussing with activity, crew members rushing around, laughter and chatter filling every corner. People were saying their thank yous and goodbyes, group photos were being taken for memories, and the air was thick with nostalgia. I watched as crew members embraced each other, promising to keep in touch, whilst others frantically packed up equipment that wasn't needed for tonight. It was bittersweet, this chaotic energy that came with the end of something that had monumental for so many people.

I wandered through to the backstage area, taking in the sight of people hugging, laughing, and wiping away tears. The smell of coffee and hair products lingered in the air mixing with the scent of excitement and exhaustion. Everywhere I looked, there were remnants of the past few months, half packed suitcases, stray guitar picks, and scrawled setlist's taped to the walls. I ran my fingers over one, tracing the worn paper feeling the weight of it all settle in my chest.

"Nicky, get over here" someone called pulling me from my thoughts. I turned to see Michael waving me over with a grin as he stood with the other boys

"Come on, one last photo with us" he said as I hesitated for a moment before forcing myself to smile and walk over. We all stood together, cameras flashing, and I could feel Luke's eyes on me. Our gazes met briefly, an awkward tension hanging between us, heavy and unspoken. I shifted uncomfortably, forcing a smile as the photographer snapped away, the flash felt blinding, too bright for the moment.

"Okay, okay that's enough" I laughed nervously stepping way. The boys lingered for a moment before dispersing, and before I could think twice, I reached for Luke's arm

"Can we talk?" I asked, my voice quieter than I had intended

He looked down at me, his expression guarded, but he nodded. We moved to a quieter corner of the room, the noise still buzzing in the background like white noise. The noise faded as I took a deep breath.

"Look, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you at the party. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions like that" I said as Luke studied me for a moment before nodding in response

"I get it Nicky. It's all been... a lot. I don't blame you for being frustrated" he replied as a small smile tugged at the corner of my lips with relief washing over me.

"Thank you for understanding. I just... I don't want things to end on a bad note" I said as he shifted closer to me

"I have to ask, just one last time..." he said his voice soft but firm "Will you give us another chance?" He asked as I felt my heart clench as I sighed and steadied myself

"Luke... I'm happy with Oli" I said as he exhaled slowly nodding, but there was something in his eyes, something that made my stomach flip.

"Alright" he said firmly as his lips curved into a sad smile

"I just had to ask" he said before pulling me into a hug as a strange flutter coursed through me. It was a similar feeling to when I first met Oli except this came with an unsettling wave of nausea. This was it. The beginning of the end of our story, and the truth was I didn't know what life without Luke would look like after him being with me for the last two years.

•

I stood on stage, my heart pounding as I gripped the microphone. The crowd buzzed with excitement, and I took a deep breath, steadying myself. The lights felt brighter tonight, the air electric of the anticipation.

"This next song" I said scanning the audience "Is something I've been working on in private for the most of this tour. I decided to save it for tonight beginning it means a lot to me. It's called shatter I hope you love it"

The murmers in the crowd quieted as the opening chords began and a mixed feeling of nerves and excitement flooded me.

All along you were see-through
I was just closing my eyes
I didn't wanna see you
Fell for all my own lies
No, I can't escape the truth
I don't wanna rewind
I'd rather rip out all the tape from the shitty mistake
Yeah, I'll be fine

My eyes instinctively drifted to the side of the stage. Luke and the rest of 5sos stood together on one side of the stage. Their expressions unreadable but their support was evident. And on the other side, Oli stood alone, a bouquet of flowers in his hands, a soft smile on his face. He looked proud and his presence grounded me in a way nothing else could.

Your skin is made of glass and I don't wanna throw stones
You don't care about the mess that you leave when you go
You say I'm such a bitch but what do you know?
I know we've said this all before but I'm so tired of waging war

You won't see me shatter, shatter aye
And no, I won't shatter shatter aye
Time only sees, will we break?
Eventually faces will fade
And I don't want to shatter, shatter, shatter, shatter
Ayy

I poured my heart into the song, every word carrying the weight of my emotions. My voice cracked slightly on the chorus, but I pushed through pouring everything I had left into the final part of the song.

And you always call me, but you never did before
I guess I had to leave you for you to treat me like I'm yours
Now you wanna escape the truth
I don't wanna be blind
I gotta keep you at an arms length just to keep my heart safe
Yeah I'll be fine

You won't see me shatter, shatter aye
And no, I won't shatter shatter aye
Time only sees, will we break?
Eventually faces will fade
And I don't want to shatter, shatter, shatter, shatter
Ayy

Your skin is made of glass and I don't wanna throw stones
You don't care about the mess that you leave when you go
You say I'm such a bitch but what do you know?
I know we've said this all before but I'm so tired of waging war

You won't see me shatter, shatter aye
And no, I won't shatter shatter aye
Time only sees, will we break?
Eventually faces will fade
And I don't want to shatter, shatter, shatter, shatter

You won't see me shatter, shatter aye
And no, I won't shatter shatter aye
Time only sees, will we break?
Eventually faces will fade
And I don't want to shatter, shatter, shatter, shatter
Ayy

As the final note rang out, the audience erupted in applause, their cheers echoing through the venue. I took a deep breath, soaking in the moment before sending out a final wave and thank you before walking off stage straight into Oli's arms.

"You were incredible" he whispered holding me close

I smiled against his chest, feeling a sense of peace settle over me. For the first time in a long time, I truly believed I had found my place. Luke was a part if my past but Oli was my future.

Oli kissed the top of my head. "Let's get out of here. Let's get you home" he said as I nodded pushing thoughts of Luke aside with certainty.

"Home?" I said as he nodded

"Yes Nicky home"