Parang Kailan Lang

Noah

I grew up with nothing and barely earned care and love from the people around me. Realized that thinking about that for too long and wallowing in my own misery would just prolong my agony. Years went by, and I was too numb to think about those things that hindered me from moving and planning ahead for my future. I didn't want it to affect me greatly, and I have a long list of disarray thoughts to deal with. Just when I'm about to accept my defined fate, I saw you, those soft, warm eyes that somehow sensed the storms brewing inside of me, within just seconds. It was the first time I saw how a pair of eyes bore into my soul as if those eyes knew me well.

I'm a lost boy who had his heart repressed for too long. The darkness in me was inside of me and I knew you knew it with your own eyes. And those smiles, I always live for it everyday. After long hours of work at home. After my hectic schedule, school, then work, and dealing with my personal problems. There's always your warm smiles and bright eyes that fill the void in me. Your cute face was reflected by the orange light back then, and I was caught off guard because it was when I realized I had loved you before I even knew it, and I kept on living, knowing that there was you every day.

When I felt my world fall apart, when I lost you the second time and screwed myself up, I still kept holding on to my faith. That the wind of fate will change even though it was an impossible sight, thinking that I don't deserve your pure love.

You showed me kindness. Believes in me with just those pair of eyes, telling me that I deserve to be loved; that I am His precious child and there's hope for me to achieve my dreams and survive the life I'd walk through the years. You showed me the world in front of your eyes and saw it in a different light that gives me warmth. With just one single moment with you, my fears and my doubts vanished, and I've got to drown myself in your love.

Even though you're far away, your memories, and your love, remain. There were times I'm missing you, blaming myself for the mistakes and selfishness I've done.

You are greater than the mistakes, shortcomings, and struggles I've faced because you're a gift I'm praying for over and over again. That there's a time I accepted, no matter how reality struck me, that I can't have you, I have to accept and pray for your happiness.

When I saw you again, that beautiful sunrise, I thanked Him for giving me another chance to love you again.

Far or near, I've always been the guy who had fallen in love with a girl who listened and believed in me, who kept on loving me despite the circumstances. And the lady who accepted me for who I am, my flaws and wounds I'm carrying, the scars engraved in my soul.

I loved you at different times, and I am still loving you now. And if I would love in another lifetime, I would still choose and love you, my dear Mako.