✯ North Star ✯

13 - Everything To Worry About

"John B, what are we doing?" JJ asked, hands gripping his shoulders.

John B looked at me again.
Barely moving.
Barely breathing.

Frozen, his whole body locked in place like something inside him had simply stopped working, and I knew exactly why. This was the moment his fear had been circling for months, the fear he never said out loud but that lived in every flinch, every joke he made too fast whenever his father's name came up. He was terrified of becoming his dad, of proving that whatever had rotted in Big John eventually rotted in every Routledge, and I could see all of that crashing down on him in the space of a single held breath.

"Hide the body," I said it before he could break, the words coming out steadier than I felt, some cold, practical part of me taking over because someone had to.

Everyone snapped their heads toward me.

"Hide the body where?" Pope rushes out, his voice climbing into something close to panic.

JJ looked at me, then at Pope.
"Shut up. That's what we're doing okay?" He said

"Behind the couch. It's our only option. Move it," I said, already moving myself, my hands finding the fabric of his sleeve before my mind had fully caught up with what I was about to touch.

"Behind the— Behind the couch?!" Pope shuddered.

"We are hiding the body—" Kie started, her voice thin and disbelieving, like she needed to hear the sentence out loud just to accept it was really happening.

"Guys keep it down," JJ hissed, casting a glance toward the door like Shoupe might already be close enough to hear us falling apart.

"Grab his legs," I told JJ, moving toward him, forcing my hands to stay steady even as everything in me wanted to recoil.

Kie jumped in.
"Maybe we should— don't drag him. You're gonna smear blood across the entire house." She said

"John B hey hey," I stepped toward him, my voice softening even through the adrenaline screaming through my chest. "I need you to help JJ. Look at me."

He finally met my eyes, and for a second I saw the full weight of everything sitting behind them — grief, guilt, fear, love, all of it tangled together in a way that made my own throat tighten.

"You're not your dad, okay? We need you." I said

He blinked hard, snapping out of it, and moved to help, his hands trembling only slightly now, steadied by something in the way I'd said it.

I jogged over to Cleo, who looked ready to pass out, her whole body swaying slightly like the room itself had tilted beneath her.

"Hey Cleo, go upstairs okay? You don't need to see this. Please. Go," I said softly.

She nodded and ran upstairs, and I watched her go with an ache in my chest, wishing I could give the same mercy to myself.

"Ella! Get your ass over here!" JJ whisper-yelled.