30 - What We Still Had

391 2 0
                                        

The fire cracked low, orange light dancing across all of us as we sat in a loose circle, tired down to our bones but still here

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.





The fire cracked low, orange light dancing across all of us as we sat in a loose circle, tired down to our bones but still here. Still breathing.

"I think the next time we take a little trip, we should maybe plan ahead" John b says

"We can stay in a hotel next time" I add

"And a shower" kie says immediately

"Yeah. I smell awful" I groan, wrinkling my nose.

"I smelled myself today-" John b starts

"You weren't the only one who smelled you" I cut in, laughing.

That does it. Everyone laughs, the sound breaking through the quiet like it hadn't in days. For a moment, it almost feels normal. Like home.

And that's the thing.



Home.
All of us- We made a home.
Together.
And then we lost it. 




JJ pokes at the fire with a stick, quiet for once.
Then, like he's tossing a joke instead of something huge, he says-

"Hey uh you know, what's a good name for a baby? JJ. Goes both ways actually. If it's a girl- if it's a boy" JJ says

"What baby?" Pope asks, confused.

"Oh my God, that's right you guys don't know." I laugh, squeezing john b's hand.

John b looks at me, nods once.
"Uh" I start, suddenly nervous even though I shouldn't be.
"John b and I are planning to get pregnant. Soon. Theres...a lot of details. But yeah" I smile

Silence.

Then cleo's face lights up.
"No way. A pougelet?" She asked

"You?" Pope asks, stunned.

"Yeah" I smile

"You're gonna be a freaking dad!" Pope yells, laughing himself at John b.

"I'll be a dad!" John b yells back, laughing as pope tackles him into the sand.

Cleo pulls me into a tight hug.
"Oh man. I can't wait" she said

"Me either" I say, smiling- and she hugs me again like she means it.



But we still had each other. We had everything that really mattered.




I glance over at Rafe.

He's already looking at me. He definitely heard. I give him a small smile, unsure of what else to do. He doesn't smile back- just stares, like he doesn't know where he fits in this moment. Maybe he doesn't. But maybe he does.





✯ North Star ✯Where stories live. Discover now