10 - The Weight Of The Gavel

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The courtroom feels colder than it should

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The courtroom feels colder than it should. The fluorescent lights buzz overhead, washing everyone out in this sick, pale glow that makes the whole room feel unreal. We sit in stiff wooden benches, the smell of old paper and  stale air pressing in around us.

Then the judge finally speaks, his voice hits like a gunshot.

"John Booker Routledge pursuant to the North Carolina statute section 14 you are charged with murder in the first degree with aggravated circumstances. If convicted the maximum sentence would be the death penalty."

The gavel slams. The echo crawls down my spine.

Whispers erupt around the room, sharp and slicing. JJ bolts up beside me.

"Your Honor he's 17" JJ yells

"Stop" Sarah hisses, trying to tug him back down.

"Quiet in the courtroom" the judge warns

"He's 17! Are you kidding me?" JJ shouts, voice breaking.

"You're good." Pope mutters, trying to calm him down.

The bailiff moves toward John b. Everything slows- like panic thickens the air.

"John B! John B! John B! No!" I scream lunging forward. A deputy grabs me, fingers digging into my arms. Sarah and kie push forward behind me, but I barely notice them- I can only see him.

John b twists back to look at me. His eyes find mine, desperate, scared, apologizing all at once. It's like the world narrows to just that look. That one last look before they turn him away and he disappears behind the courtroom doors.

My heart feels like it tears straight outta my chest.

"Let's go Stel. Let's get out of here." Sarah's hand grips my arm, guiding me away, but my feet feel numb.

Outside, the air feels too thick to breathe.

"Is this a joke? Like are we in hell or...?" Kie asks, voice almost cracking.

"I should have never come home" I whisper. Shame tastes metallic on my tongue.

"They're gonna kill him guys. I know it" JJ says, eyes wide, voice shaking with fury he doesn't know where to put.

Then I hear the smugness, that voice I know all to well.
"Sorry for what you and your family have gone through. Thank God the system works."

Dads lawyer.

My stomach twists.

"Can you please shut up? Of course you think the system worked because it was made to protect you and people like you." Kie snaps

"He'll have his day in court. A jury will decide" the lawyer said

"He shouldn't even be in court! You should cause you're a murderer. You have a lot of nerve showing up to court." Kie yelled, pointing at my dad.

Dad steps forward. 
"I know you're upset. I understand you're upset okay?" He said

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