ODDS OF LOVE : SEASON 15

Episode 111

The house was eerily quiet when Richard got back home. Of course the children were still at school and hadn't returned yet. The only sign of life that he saw was that of the two  dogs King and Queen sleeping in their His and Her doggie beds in the living room right next to their individual food and water dishes.

He was starting to get nervous as he called out his husband's name while walking up the staircase. Ryan had described the man's voice perfectly. The one who had called him. It was Nigel. Nigel had called him while he was out to lunch with Ryan Cooper. With another man. What was his husband thinking? , Richard wondered as he stood before their closed bedroom door. Nigel was not the jealous type. Not much. But things had been very stressful lately. He probably should have just told his husband about the NA meeting. About the lunch with Ryan.

He let out the deep breath he had been holding and slowly opened the door. Part of him was half expecting to find the room empty. Half the closet and dresser drawers empty. Nigel gone. He almost turned back around right then and there but instead stepped through the door to find Nigel coming out of their bathroom. His face was wet with what looked like tears and he was putting the  patch back on his damaged eye.

The young man, only twenty nine, so mature in many ways yet so young and vulnerable in others , stared at him.

Richard stared back.

They just looked at each other in complete silence for a very long time. Finally Richard broke it by asking," Why are you crying?"

Nigel lifted his head proudly and folded his arms over his faded tee shirt that declared " God Save The Queen". He responded by retorting," Why did you lie to me? "

Richard came closer to the man and tried to touch him. Nigel stepped back and repeated the question. " Why did you lie to me? "

Richard said," I didn't lie. I said I had an appointment. "

Nigel laughed harshly. " Right. An appointment. Like your ex wives used to tell you. Before they went out cheating and whoring about. "

" I didn't cheat on you, darling. I never....."

" Don't darling me," Nigel said in a voice that suddenly cracked with too much emotion as he went to sit on the bed. Richard sat beside him and tried to take his hand to no avail. "Don't touch me please. Not now. I'm a little upset now. Who is he? This Ryan Cooper? Is he..... attractive? Young like me? Better than me? Better looking? Of course he is. Smarter than me? Of course he is. "

Then his speech halted abruptly as he lowered his head with his shoulders shaking with the renewed sobs he couldn't hold back again.

Richard could not stand to see him cry. Listen to him cry. He gently reached out to pull his crying husband into his arms. This time Nigel didn't pull away from him. This time Nigel clung to him in almost desperation and anguish.

" Why ? ," he heard Nigel almost pleading in between sobs. " Why ? Who is he? "

Richard said swiftly," My sponsor at Narcotics Anonymous. Ryan Cooper is my sponsor. Not my lover. Never my lover. I would never cheat on you. I could never cheat on you. I love you. And, no man is better than you. You are intelligent, sensitive and so beautiful. In spite of the scars. You are beautiful to me and will always be. I'm sorry for not telling you the truth. "

Nigel's sobs ceased gradually as Richard talked and he pulled back slightly to stare at him. " What? Since when you need Narcotics Anonymous? "

Richard needed a pill. A drink. Anything. But he stayed in place as he looked at his husband and said," Since I was shot this last time. My father.... he said I was getting too .... attached to the pills. He took them. I didn't want to ask the doctor for a new prescription so I turned to alcohol. I was in pain. Dad... Dad made me go to the meeting. It's where I met Ryan. I met him to talk. Not to have an affair. I love you. Please believe me. "

Nigel shook his head. " Why didn't you tell me? We tell each other everything? Why did you not turn to me? "

Richard sighed and looked sheepishly at him. " I thought you would be disappointed in me. And, I didn't want to worry you more. You have so much stress now. Your health....."

Nigel laughed in disbelief. " I could never be disappointed in you. Except that you didn't trust me with all this stuff of yours. I thought you didn't want me anymore. I thought I was not good enough for you anymore. I heard you talking to him last night.... I found that number in your pants. I thought you had fallen for someone else. Someone better. "

Richard laughed as well with no humor in it. "There is nobody better than you. "