Daddy Issues

79 - Crazy

'H- hi!'

I try to put on a smile but I'm not sure it reaches my face. The fucking doctor. How! He saw me there with Dan. My mind races back through the time we spent there. Did Dan mention his name? Did I? I don't think we did. Could he tell that we're together? I don't think we told him what we are to each other, but it might have been obvious.

Not that it matters. If mom finds out I was with Dan today, no matter what she knows about our relationship, I'm done for. I should have told her sooner. I couldn't think of a worse way for her to find out.

I need to make sure it doesn't come out. That's the only way I'm walking out of here alive. But mom's already looking suspiciously from me to him, trying to figure out what this could possibly mean.

'Doctor!' I say, hoping my voice doesn't make me sound too crazy. 'Hello again.'

I make myself walk forward to offer him my hand. He laughs as he shakes it, looking a lot more genuine than me. I mostly feel like I'm about to throw up.

'How does your hand feel?' he asks me.

'Oh, yeah, I think the anesthetic's wearing off, so you know... it hurts a little.'

'Did you take some painkillers yet?' he asks. 'That'll take some of the kick out of it when it really wears off.'

'Can somebody tell me,' mom cuts in, a very unnatural smile on her face. 'What's going on?'

My lips tremble a little trying to keep up the smile I've put on, but at least I manage to look her in the eye.

'I already met Roger today,' I tell her. 'Isn't that crazy? I cut my hand and I had to get stitches.'

'That is crazy.'

She puts on a smile, but her eyes are cold. Suspicious. Like I did something wrong, though I couldn't possibly have known that the doctor I'd seen today was the same man I was supposed to meet today.

Roger looks to my mother with a slight surprise on his face.

'You didn't know yet?'

Mom and I both seem to realize in the same moment that in a normal relationship, a daughter might call her mother to tell her she'd been to the hospital. And if she didn't, then the mother might at least ask if she was okay when she did find out.

'I've been gone all day,' I say quickly, making it clear that it's not her fault that she doesn't know. 'And it's not that big a deal, anyway. I'm fine now.'

'What happened?' Mom asks now, taking a mildly interested look at my injured hand.

'I cut myself,' I say, thinking quickly to figure out how I can keep Dan out of the story without Roger mentioning him accidentally.

'I was trying to cut some avocados and the knife shot through the skin. I don't know, it was stupid.'

'Why were you cutting avocados?' Mom asks suspiciously. She still doesn't seem to have caught up with the fact that I actually prepare food these days.

'To... eat them?'

Mom gives me another suspicious look, like she somehow knows that there's more to the story. Roger seems a little confused by the whole interaction. Which I can understand.

'Which I never actually got to do,' I say, reinforcing my fake smile. 'So I'm starving. Is dinner ready?'

'We got Thai food,' Mom says. Her voice is a little clipped, making it clear that we will be talking more about this later. The air in the kitchen seems tight. I'll never make it through this night.