Don't JUDGE Me

PAGOD

Mood: 🥵

I actually do not know what I am doing right now and even when there is something or not, I feel exhausted.

Having this fatigue that you cannot explain to yourself that l you wanted to do is to get rid of it.

No tiredness that will be formed. And how to do it?

So many. It can be taking a rest, taking a breath, or taking a drink.

But I know it will not be enough.

Palaging mayroon ng ganito. Ng pagod na minsan okay pero madalas ayaw ko na.

Kadalasan kase ang pagod ay napapaligiran nang hindi maganda.

Like kuha ko naman na dahil iyon sa mga pinaggagawa mo.

But there are scenarios naman na kahit hindi ko gustuhin ba, ang puntira pa rin ay iyong mapagod ka.

Whether through so much work or it can be with how a bunch of things will make you feel tired.

And nakakasakit siya actually.

Okay sana kung ang pang-araw araw ay pagod na saya, sarap, yun bang this made me do it but I wanted it.

Pero with the way how it goes, ang pagod na nakukuha ay may halong negative energy which made me complain, and irritate with so much exhaustion.

Kung ang bawat daloy ay will make me feel like a tiring human, then that is acceptable.

Ngunit sa mga kailangang mga urgent as in mapapa-gawa na ngayon na, dinaig pa ang makina sa factory.

That is not a very much maka-tao aber! Pagod does not equate to all hard work done.

Kase some of it does not go well, or paid for.

Eh di mahahaluan pa iyan ng dismaya like all my pagod just come from nothing.

I almost sacrifice my whole only to find out na ito pala ang mararating?

But of course, depende iyon sa mapapangyarihan batay sa kung nasunod ba or nasobrahan sa expectations?

Ang sarap tulugan na lang at babangon kapag hindi na pagod.

Parang lyrics lang na wake me up before you go go ni Wham.

Pero hindi puwede iyon e. Kung gusto mo, maging corpse ka na lang. De biro lang.

Of course I wanted to live pa rin kahit kaiyak ang life.

But then again, nakakapagod na gawin ang lahat hanggang sa abot nang makakaya.

With so much happenings, you cannot even tell to yourself kung pagod ba o wala nga pero nararamdaman mo.

It feels like it is my task as a human being to have this.

Should I like it? If the outcome will be brought me into heaven.

But if I experience a curse like hell, how should I even call that lucky?

My body can tell kung kapaguran pa ba ang inabot o wala lang yan.

Sana may ganoong pakiramdam. Then I would not feel weary.

Wala yung moment na worn out with all of what I am doing.

Ang tanging napagpapaagapay lang na ganoon ay kapag the next day, it will just be a memory.

Back to kilos na ulit. Full battery na siya.

And it will be a routine each day and night.

Which is such a piss that mapapabuka na lang ng bibig and say aahh with it.