What We Are

Get Away

Just a very short update- more to come soon :)

I woke up just as the sun was rising, an unnatural time for anyone to be expected to function in the spring, let alone an infamous night owl like me. Having a baby had  changed things of course, but I knew it was always important to never lose myself as an individual in Lindsey and our family. It was undoubtedly the most beautiful thing I'd ever experienced, but if I let it define me then who would I be? Not Stevie surely? I owed it to Lena to remain unapologetically myself, so she could one day too. There was a small amount of blissful time as I wrestled in the boundary between dream and reality, in which, for a while, I forgot the night before.

Lena woke as I did, and her cries soon forced me back into the world of solid fact. "Shit," I mumbled under my breath as I flung away the sheets to comfort my daughter, everything that had happened racing through my head. I changed Lena's diaper after discovering that was what she needed, and then allowed her to lull back into her own dreams.

We needed to get out of this place. Placing Lena in her pram, I opened the room's door to call for a bellboy, half expecting to find Lindsey asleep against the wall. I didn't. I guessed he was tired of fighting for me by now. We were in a car to the airport in mere minutes, our flight to Arizona already chartered. As soon as I was alone on the private plane, Lena peaceful for the time being, I burst into tears. Before, I had been outraged, for now, I was in mourning. But for the sake of our daughter, Lindsey seemed dead to me.