What We Are

You Want Your Freedom?

"Stevie?" I shook myself and spun around, a few drops of tea spilling on my front.
"Um yes...Sorry."
"What's wrong love? You've been in your own world since you got in. I know last night can't have been much fun but Lindsey's ok now, are you?" Chris walked towards me and placed my tea on the side.
"I'm not sure," I said removing Lena from her high chair and rocking her against my chest. I walked onto the patio and we sat on the bench, Lena leaning against my stomach.
"Speak Stevie." I told her what happened before Lindsey ran and fell. She looked slightly concerned, but spoke calmly.
"He was pissed. That doesn't make it ok but you said he doesn't even remember it?"
"He doesn't."
"John and me did plenty of shit to each other while we were intoxicated back in the day. It didn't mean we loved each other any less, and believe me it was triple anything Lindsey did."
"You and John are divorced." I hoped I didn't sound insensitive.
"We were alcoholics Stevie! This was a blip for Lindsey." I sighed, "You should still talk to him about it."
"I will," I stood and balanced Lena on my hip. "You want your nap baby?" She smiled absentmindedly.
"Good. If anything you could take it as component that he thought some twenty something year old was you!" I ignored this.
"I have to admit that the whole adult communication thing still isn't our strength."
"You make up for it in other ways I'm sure." I was about to step inside when my path was obstructed.
"We certainly do," Lindsey said as he stood aside, kissing my cheek as we stood against the counter.
"I thought you were sleeping it all off?"
"I was...Then I got bored." Chris laughed and explained she was off out for a couple hours. She patted my arm and gave me a motivating look before leaving. Lindsey and I made sure Lena was happily napping in her cot, then he led me to our bedroom by his hand. "Lindsey, what are you doing?" I whispered excitedly as we slipped into the bedroom.

"I needed to talk to you." He said seriously, placing me on his lap in the big armchair facing away from the window. "Why?" I replied anxiously, remaining stiff as he massaged my waist. "My album. It's done."
"I know that Lindsey."

Fuck. I'd been fearing this.

"I just took a few calls, and I'm getting more pressure from all corners to tour it after the release." I ground my teeth and he continued, his eyes darting in all directions,"It would just be a couple months or so..."
"Two months 'or so'? We have a baby Lindsey, you can't just...You can't expect me t-"
"Baby I haven't signed anything yet."
"You just spoke like it's a done deal. Who am I to tie you down hey Linds? It's not like you got me pregnant or anything!" I tried to stand up but he held me to him. "Stevie. It's weeks away. We can plan. You can come with me. I want you there." He looked straight into me and for a few seconds I almost believed nothing would change.
"Let me go."