swords men

my thoughts placate me

Breathing in deep to his side, type was knocked out from all the soft and rough sex he endured with tharn, for him to be sitting up with his knees to his chest, arms wrapped to have his head turned to be looking down at type with a face. He signed to turn his head to move his body a bit to hunch to place his chin to his knee to continue to eye forward with a face.
Can't believe I hurt him like that. What the hell is wrong with me!
Tharn signed once more to move his head back to then go slowly down to wrap an arm about to eye the back of types head to dart his eyes.
You and I were raised almost in the same environment, how is it you are so gentle? Caring? Affectionate? Loving?
Tharn closed his eyes to take in a deep breathe to unconsciously move closer to him.
You are so......... idiotic to be like that though, it's weakness, not strength! You are going to get yourself killed one day and....
Tharn popped his eyes open to move up to take his arm away to dart his eyes frantically over type who made a noise to then whimper.
Tharn went a bit more down to place a hand to his cheek to caress.
"Type?"
Type furrowed his brow to continue to be under has he was exhausted. Tharn signed has he looked over him to then get out of the bed quickly but quietly to leave in the same fashion.
Inside he taxi, he had his head hung to feel a large amount of guilt and shame.
Tharn had his hands cupped to be eyeing to think very dark and negative thoughts.
Back to his home, tharn went to his punching bag to let everything loose. After two hours, tharn had his forehead to it with his eyes closed to be taking in deep breathing to be thinking to sign has he heard a familiar voice.
"What are you doing boy?"
Tharn moved his head back to open his eyes to have no expression to his face to roll his eyes, he then turned to have his head hung to leave his father alone.
To his room, tharn was under the water to let it flow about him to sign here and there, he just couldn't stop the dark thoughts from flowing in, he also just couldn't stop thinking about the horrible things he had done to type.
Tharn then in his anger punched the wall and hard to eye the action to make a hard face has he then started to watch has blood come down..
Rolling his eyes, he moved his hand back to eye his knuckles where his blood was coming out from to take in deep breathes to turn the water off with his good hand to then turn to get out to place a towel to his mid section to then go under the sink to gather what he needed to fix himself to go to his bed to sit to the edge to eye what he had done without a face to then start to think again.
Can't believe I hurt type to the point of bruising.
Tharn gritted his teeth to hunch his body to hang his head to place his hands to his neck to rub.
Just what the hell is wrong with me! Why do I have to act like that? Maybe I am turning into my father.
Tharn started to rub at his neck harder to feel the pain.
After a moment, tharn flopped to his back to streach his arms out to either side to eye up.
This whole thing with type is a mistake. Should have done what I was suppose to do and kill him. Could have saved him from all this pain..
Tharn made a real hard face to then go to his side to really eye his bedding.
Why do I have to think like that? Type deserves to be here. Maybe I deserve to die. Maybe type needs to kill me..
Tharns thoughts started to turn really dark for him to then turn his body to eye his side table has phone started to go off.
Tharn turned fully to then go to it to lay to his back to unlock his phone to part his lips.
Type: I really hate when you just leave like that. I'm not your fucking whore! You better text me tonight. I...... Want to see you.
Tharn darted his eyes over the text to read and reread it.
Why........ Why do you want to see me again? Why don't you just end it? End this for real? If I knew you really didn't want me, I would let that happen but then again, I know this boy wants me, I just know it.
Tharn sat up to text type an address.
Tharn then couldn't help but to smile.
Know type wants me. He is mine after all. Type is not going any where, he told me that himself.
Tharn took in deep breathes has all the negative and darkened thoughts seemed to lift, which only seemed to happen when he was with type or it involved him.
Tharn then placed the phone down to eye it.
We do need to start to do something else other then sex. I don't know why but......I want to know more about him, what makes him tick, but not in a way to help me win. Which that is what is going to have to happen when we're 18 and will be to our final round. But how?
Tharn then got up to start to pace in his room to think about this.
How can I win and make sure type can be save at the same time? There just has to be a way. I'm not going to let anything hurt type again, not even me. But what can I do?
Tharn continued to pace about his room to really think and hard about this until it was time to go and see type.