Anything But Ordinary: a Troyler AU.

Chapter 28: Little Bit of Luck.

Lost in the cracks of the landslide

You saw me slipping on my blind side

I'm feeling lost, feeling tongue-tied

And now I'm frozen in your headlights

Deep in the haze of your love high

I used to soar on the live-wire

I'm coming down from your supply

And I don't know if you can make right.

-OcaHate by Ryn Weaver.

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Chapter 28: Little Bit of Luck.

{Troye's P.O.V.}

[A/N: IN LOVE WITH THIS SONG, ALSO YOU THOUGH, EMMA.~ ♥ It's 5 in the morning, but here I am, writing away.]

Tyler had a panic attack, nothing I couldn't deal without me breaking down a little bit myself. We could get through anything together. He just looked so weak, helpless, like he was...

Like he was dying.

Or even dead.

This is not something I ever want to think about or want to feel. Ever. Under any circumstance. Seeing him that way, I couldn't handle it. I personally felt helpless when all I wanted to do was save him. My body was filled up with novacane & I just felt numb. I love him too much & if something happens to him, I could never forgive myself. I'd blame myself for the rest of my entire life.

Zoe told me it happens not so very often, although, often enough & I should be aware.

I can do this, I can keep a calm head for Tyler when he goes into a panic attack. I have to. This is something that's apart of him. When I said I love him, I mean when you tell anyone that you love them, that means you're accepting everything within them, everything about them: insecurities, flaws, scars, quirks, habits, personality, physicalities, all of it. & you vow to always love them, even when they can be overbearing or get a bit too much.

Why? Because you made that promise to them.

Love can be a losing game.

Of course I want to know why he went into an attack in the first place, but I didn't want to press the matter if he's not ready to talk about it. He'd tell me on his own accord. We opened up to each other about basically everything. I don't think anything would mess that up now.

The biggest form of love you could show is trust. If you have trust, you've got it all. I have that with him. I trust him with my life in his hands along with everything that came with it. I hope he felt that too.

"Tyler, how are you feeling?" I played with his hair, which his head was laying on my shoulder, his eyes drooping, his breathing soft. The strongest thing I'm feeling right now is concern.

"I'm- doing- fine, Troye-" He took a deep breath after every word, obviously unconvincing me of any chances that he's actually all right.

We followed after Jaspar to a pizzeria since Caspar randomly wanted pizza while Ty was in a coma. I picked at my food mostly, but I did eat a couple bites. Tyler hasn't even touched his.

"Tilly, you need to eat," I kissed his cheek, whispering affectionately to him.

"I'm not really hungry..."

I wasn't sure if this is the actual truth or if something else is going on inside of his beautiful mind. Time to find out for sure.

"With how stressed I am, I can't stomach anything.