Determination

LV: Rising Action

Nov. 1994

"Have you noticed something off about Professor Snape?" Hermione asked one day after the trio had finished potions.

"Yeah, that he's a right git," Ron replied grumpily.

Harry nodded beside him in agreement.

Hermione huffed, annoyed at the two of them.
"No- I mean!" She huffed again. "You know he's been covering the Mugglee studies lessons as well?" She asked instead.

"He has?" Harry turned curious eyes to Hermione.
He hadn't known that. Harry had assumed Dumbledore had found a substitute for the class with Meae's disappearance; he hadn't known Snape had taken over the mantle.

"Great, so he can be awful to twice as many students as before." Ron mumbled, "At least Fred and George still have to deal with him, serves them right."

"That's not why he's doing it!" Hermione said, outraged, You're telling me you haven't noticed?"

"Noticed what?" Ron asked irritably.

Harry sighed from beside his two friends and cut in before they could start another argument.
"Look, Hermione, whatever it is you're trying to get at, Ron and I aren't going to figure it out. You might as well tell us."

Hermione sighs, exasperated with them.
"He took over her classes in case she shows back up, that way she has a place to go. You haven't noticed, but at the beginning of every class, he stares towards the doorway like he's just waiting for her to show up. He does it during meals, too."

"That's uncharacteristically soft of him," Ron said in suspicion.

"He's sad, Ronald! Probably because he doesn't know where she is, and he has to be here."

Harry thought back to the potions lesson they just escaped from. He hadn't noticed Snape staring forlornly at the doorway like that, perhaps more of a glance that way than usual, but it could have been out of habit. Until now, Meae had always made random reappearances in the potions classrooms when she wasn't busy. Harry sighed.

"I think you're reading too much into it, Hermione. Snape doesn't know how to be sad; he hasn't seemed worried at all, actually." Harry ended with a bit more bite than he meant to.

Harry looked over at Hermione, who seemed to be in thought. A sad look crossed her face as she sighed again.

"You're right. I might be... projecting... a bit." She looked over at them with a resigned worry. "I miss her," she said quietly.

Rob and Harry shared a contrite look them before setting a hand on each of Hermione's shoulders.

"We miss her too, 'mione," Ron said quietly.

The trio hadn't talked much about the absence of the woman, all feeling the loss in different ways and too busy to really sit down and think about it. They had all just put trust in the adults that everything would turn out okay. Harry figured he should send another owl to Sirius to see if he and Professor Lupin could meet them on a Hogsmede visit. It shouldn't be too suspicious of an owl, considering Sirius was his legal guardian and up until school, he'd been living with them both. 

Then he could hopefully ask about Meae.

He could still hear her screams when he closed his eyes at night.

"Hi, Harry."

Harry shook his head of those depressing thoughts as he looked up and saw Cho Chang and a few of her friends about to walk by the trio.

He smiled at her and raised a hand in greeting as they passed. He watched as they passed by and lightly laughed to himself. Ron lightly tapped him with his elbow, and Harry looked up at him in question.

"How's it going on that front anyway? You still fancy her?"

Harry smiled as he shook his head.
"Nah, it was fleeting. She and Cedric are really happy, and I'm glad for them. It's weird, but it's easier to get over her because she's with Cedric? They really are good together."

"Well, I'm glad at least Cedric spoke up too about last year." Hermione piped in, "It's been harder for people to doubt you and Dumbledore when a third person is speaking up as well. Though that doesn't seem to stop the ministry and the prophet from trying to drag you three through the mud."

"Yeah, but Cedric was like, Hogwarts golden boy last year. No offense, Harry."

Harry shrugged, "none taken."

"The students here really like him, so it's been easier to believe that at least Harry's not a complete nutter."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure Cedric's word was the only reason Seamus' mom let him come back. I don't think she would have without it," Harry muttered.

Hermione stopped and turned towards the boys before she broke off from them to go to Arithmancy.

"I still wish Miss Night were here; her presence back at the school and her word about what happened would have helped tremendously in extinguishing all these nasty lies from the prophet and ministry. And I doubt she would have stood for this rubbish about not using magic in defense." Hermione sighed one more time before turning towards her classroom. "I'll see you both after."

"She's right." Ron said, "Miss Night would have waged an all-out war on this woman, especially if she caught sight of what she's doing to you in these detentions, Harry."

A small, sad smile broke onto Harry's face at the thought.

This woman would have never stood a chance against Meae if she were here.

Severus stood over his desk, gripping it white knuckled as pain and sweat broke across his back. The stinging pain of lashings breaking out over the expanse of it. There was an ache in his head from repeated phantom blows, and his vision briefly whited out before righting itself once again.

He took a deep breath as he quickly compartmentalized the pain as 'not his'. As quickly as it had come, it started to ebb. He wiped the sweat from his brow and fought the stinging of tears in his eyes.

He quickly composed himself as he gathered his things for Meae's next class and quickly left the classroom in the dungeons.

Hang on a little longer, Meae.