Determination

LXI: Climax

September 1974

"They're not going to accept me fully," Severus said to the girl sitting in front of him.

It was the start of his sixth year, and after ignoring her letters all summer long, here she sat in front of him still. He had spent the better part of his summer accepting invitations to meetings from some of the older Slytherins. There was a decent congregation of Witches and Wizards who believed wholeheartedly in some of the old school, pureblood ideologies. After their attack on Meae, the two had decided that Severus should try to get in decently with their organization. He did believe in what they were saying some of the time, as far as Severus knew, most Muggleborns are not worthy of Witches and Wizards' time or effort. His father was the first nail in that proverbial coffin. What had really dug that shallow grave for him, though, had been how they've always treated Meae. He is capable, of course, to see that even Witches and Wizards had not always been kind to her either.

"Why?" she asked him.

"They haven't said it, but I'm pretty sure it's because I'm so tied to you." He answered.

He noticed it at the meetings over the summer. There were certain things they wouldn't say or try to evade around in his presence. He hadn't met all the members yet, though he knew of a few families that were probably in the organization and hadn't been to the meetings he was invited to. He had yet to meet this Dark Lord they all followed; they had questioned his ties to Meae and asked about the bond he shared with her. Which, thankfully, to their little show at the end of the year, the last year, he had already sown seeds of trust in some of his Slytherin friends. Severus was aware he'd have to nourish those seeds he'd planted throughout this year if he had hopes of getting in further. He knew he and Meae were going to have to split eventually. They could not be on the same side of this war if their plan was to come to fruition. Severus needed to earn the Dark Lord's trust somehow if they wanted to find out what exactly he wanted to do with Meae. He needed to prove he was with them if he wanted to protect her.

Severus watched the girl as she stared out the window of the train carriage in thought. He had missed her so much this summer. He had carefully stowed away every letter she had sent him over the summer and greedily took in any information about how she was doing. He had missed her.

"So, we have to prove somehow that you would choose them over me, that you are loyal to them?" she asked as she looked back at him, finally. He saw the resigned sadness in the girl's eyes as she realized this wouldn't be as easy as they hoped. "Ok, so we get in a fight?"

"I think it'll have to be a little more than that," he answered. "These people are fanatics; they're so certain that what they think is right, they don't care how other people feel or who gets hurt. This is going to take more than some petty argument or mediocre duel; I'm going to have to stoop to levels no sane Wizard in their mind would think of doing."

"The Unforgivable Curses?"

"Eventually."

She took a deep breath in and held it for a few moments before letting it all out. She sent him a sad smile while her tears threatened to spill over.

"How long do we have?" she asked him.

"We should probably start around the holidays at the latest." He grimaced back.

"Can we at least enjoy the time we have?" she asked him as she held her hand out to him, palm up.

He huffed a small laugh and placed his hand in hers. He could feel her magic as it thrummed to life through him. Two dancing threads of magic glittered around their hands as they allowed their magic to flow freely between them.

"Always," he vowed.

The great hall was full of food. Severus had sat with his own house through the welcoming ceremony but was now taking his rightful place at Meae's side as they talked through the feast and ate. The two were discussing a proposal of Meae's schedule for her last few years, as Severus likely wouldn't be able to help her much longer with it. He felt his hackles rise as the feeling of someone's eyes washed over him. He allowed Meae to continue in her ramblings as he carefully glanced around. Severus smirked as he found the culprit among the Gryffindor sixth years.

Potter was glaring at him.

Severus wasn't a Naive fool, though some may disagree. He had noticed the Potter boy's attention shift ever since Meae had first stepped foot in Hogwarts. Why the arrogant Lion always seemed to lust after what was Snape's, he'd never understand, but Severus was able to see the abject hatred practically rolling off the boy. Severus couldn't help the smug pride he felt sitting by the girls side while his school yard nemesis sat jealously across the room. It wasn't the first time Severus could tell the other boy was jealous of Snape's position in his infatuation's lives. He had felt it in first year every time he and Lily had spent time together, and he felt it now as he sat at the Hufflepuff table that morning next to Meae.

Severus huffed a chuckle to himself as he tuned back into Meae's rambling.

"So it shouldn't be too bad, plus I mean you'll help me with Charms so that'll be a big help too." She continued.

"I'm not helping you with shit." He scoffed.

She paused in her tirade and stared at him horrified.
"What do you mean? You always help me with Charms."

Severus stared back with a cold expression. "I did, but not anymore. You're somehow rubbish at charms, and I'm tired of explaining the same three basic concepts to you."

She cried in out in frustration "Thats why I need your help! Are you kidding me?!"

"I'm not fucking helping you this year, last year you tried to levitate me and ended up putting me in a two-day coma Meae. I can't possibly explain it any better to you than I already have. Find yourself a new teacher or study harder, I don't know anymore, but I'm not doing it." He finished resolute.

She stared at him defiantly. "Fine," she growled.

Severus spent a few extra moments observing the girl as she grumpily went back to her food. He noticed the resigned whine she let out as she realized her new predicament.

"Great, now I have to come up with an alternate timetable in case I fail my charms O.W.L." She grumbled.

Severus chuckled to himself as he also returned to his meal. He glanced up once to see Potter staring forlornly at his plate as his gang of troublemakers talked excitedly around him. He knew it was only a matter of time before the boy started making his moves towards Meae, he knew with the aid of Lily that time would come sooner. He felt a flash of pain and worry thinking the boy could take her away from him, but consoled himself that he and Meae were literal soulmates and that was something Potter could never take from him.

He glanced to his side at the one person in this entire world he could honestly say he loved. At one point, he would have said he loved Lily too, but he'd been questioning himself since Meae came around. He thought about how he might've misaligned his relationship with Lily as possessive, how she had been something to keep. Part of that might have had something to do with the nature of the relationship he had sought with each. He had wanted to cherish Lily, yes, but with Meae there was something so sure between them it melted all insecurities. Meae was his, as much as he was hers.

She paused just before taking another bite, looking over at him. "Hey, where'd you go?" she asked.

"What are you babbling about?" he asked her in faux annoyance.

"Just a moment ago, you went somewhere. What are you thinking about?" she asked him.

Severus huffed in amusement. Moments like this were exactly what he'd meant. She always knew when he was lost in his head.

He narrowed his eyes as he looked over at her, a teasing smirk quirking the corner of his lips.

"When d'you start wearing glasses?" he asked instead.