mafia's promise

66

It wasn't as hard as namjoon thought it would, he succeeded to avoid jin, burying himself in work,

God knows why he was being this stubborn, avoiding to talk, and point out the elephant in the room, but that's what he was doing anyway.

Maybe it was because of the resentment he felt, or maybe because he was tired, tired of being the one to put effect in this marriage, tired of hearing lies from the person he loves the most,

Whatever was the reason but he refused to talk to jin.

On the other hand, the increasing feeling of guilt, helplessness and a strange type of loneliness began to form in jin's heart, making him feel restless.

He was supposed to avoid namjoon, supposed to make things right,

But here he was feeling like the child sepreted from the parents and lost in crowd, he wasn't supposed to feel like like.

He should feel happy, right ?.

Because that's what he wanted, isn't he ?.

He wanted namjoon to keep his distance with him, and that's what he was doing now, then why it was making him feel restless, and lonely,

He feels frustrated, even angry, not at namjoon though, but at himself, for being like this,

The thing he was trying to avoid for so long, the feelings he refused to acknowledge, was now making him feel restless and helpless,

Screaming at him to acknowledge them, and Stop hurting himself and namjoon,

But he was stubborn, too stubborn for his own good.

He refused to acknowledge his own feelings,

Not wanting to make things even more messed up than they already were.

He let things go, letting the things working the way they were,

He know he was being stupid,

He should try to get things fixed,

Should talk things out with namjoon like adults

But if he did it,

It will make things better and then the things will go back to the way they were.

And jin didn't want that.

He don't want things to go back the way they were,

It was better for him if namjoon stay away, keep his distance, even if it hurts him,

But it was the only way he has left,

To keep namjoon away from him,

Maybe then he will stop hurting himself because of him,

it was the best for him and namjoon.

Maybe the distance will makes things better.

And maybe, just maybe jin will be succed to make things better,

And namjoon will start hating him.

It was a stupid move,

But he wanted to give it a try,

That's why he let namjoon walk away,

He could have stopped him if he wanted.

He can say the things he wanted to say without listening to namjoon like always.

But he didn't.

He just stayed silent as he saw namjoon walk away.

Maybe it was the best for both of them.