wake up, phil - [phan]

{ 6 } - Hate

{1 HOUR EARLIER}

Phil's POV

I flung myself down on my colourful bed covers, hiding my face in my arms.

"...WHAT HAVE YOU DONE..."

My left cheek stung like there was no tomorrow, but I knew I deserved it. After what I had done.

"...I promise..."

I groaned into my arms. I should be out, I thought, I should be out there looking for him. But no, I'm just sat here crying my eyes out over what an idiot I am.

No, I've caused enough damage as it is.

"...NOW GET YOUR GAY FAGGOT ASS OUT OF THIS RESTAURANT..."

Dan's dad's words cut through me like knives. How could you be so unsupportive of your own son? It was all a horrible experience, and I just wanted to forget it all, to go back in time so it never happened.

But most of all, I wanted Dan. I wanted his warm arms around me, his brown eyes on my own. I just wished he was here, I was so worried about him.

Slowly, I turned onto my back and cool air rushed to my face as I took my arms away from my hot sticky face. I stared up at the ceiling and took in a deep breath, quietening myself. I listened to the tree hitting the window lightly, trying to calm down. Oh god, Phil, I think to myself. You've messed up in the past, but this time, you've really done it.

It was silent for a few more moments and then I heard a noise that jerked me straight off my bed.

SLAM.

I heard the door slam shut, and footsteps into the flat, which made me think of one person only.

"DAN!" I yelled loudly, leaping off the bed and stumbling to my bedroom door and into the hallway.

"DAN! Dan, you're back, I was so worried..." And then I trailed off when I saw his face as he appeared at the end of the corridor.

His eyes were filled with rage, red-rimmed and burning with fire. His shoulders we slumped, and he straightened up when he saw me. He stood completely still, not daring to move. His teeth were gritted together with fury, and he looked like a demon, stood in the shadowy hallway with his long black coat, hood up. He yanked his hood down, showing his messy hair and giving my light to his ferocious face.

I stopped in my tracks, suddenly filled with fear. He looked exactly like he did when he ran off in the street. We stood  staring at each other for what seemed like eternity. I opened my mouth to speak, and stuttered.

"D-D-Dan... D-Dan... You..." My feet managed to unglue themselves from the floor, and I took a few steps foreward. "Dan... I.... Dan, I am so sorry... Look..."

I couldn't control myself. I ran forward, opening my arms wide, closing the gap between us. And then time began to slow down. I cupped my hands around his shoulders, pulling him in for a hug. It was brief, but not a real hug. Not a hug from the Dan I know. It was like hugging a statue, or a corpse. He was so still and cold, never dropping his icy glare. He didn't put his arms around me, and it was ended abruptly.

Dan managed to get his hand in between our two bodies and shoved me hard. In the stomach.

I backed away and bent over, as panic set through me. I began to speak again.

"Argh... Dan, I -"

He then walked forward and pushed me again. Harder. I stumbled backwards, slamming into the left wall of the hallway with a huge thud. I held my hands over my face, scared of what he'd do next. Dan, I thought. This isn't you, you would never hurt me!

This time round he did hurt me. But not physically. He leaned in close, our foreheads almost touching. For one happy second, I thought he would kiss me and tell me everything was okay. But no.

"I. Bloody. Hate. You."

His face - the anger I had never seen before in his face. His icy glare and gritted teeth all scared me. I winced with hurt of the words he had just said. This wasn't the Dan I knew and had fallen in love with all those years back. Dan was kind and caring, sensitive but sarcastic. Dan wasn't fierce or sharp with words, I would never love someone like that.

"Dan, you n-need to listen to me," I began, but he tried to forcefully brush past me to his room.

No, I couldn't let him go like this. He couldn't just push me aside after what's happened tonight. I attempted to pull on the back of his black coat, which was an instant mistake.

He turned. And pushed me harder than before.

I slapped against the wall with such force that the world spun around me and I fell to the floor with a thud.

-

A/N: omf thank you so much for all the lovely comments, you are all so nice !! i will update more regularly now && thank you for almost 90 reads !!