wake up, phil - [phan]

{ 43 } - No words

Phil's POV

I scream and scream, my voice surrounding me as everyone else is silent as they watch me.

I am leant right over the side of the bridge as I stared after Dan as his body became a tiny speck before being completely swallowed by the depths of the water.

"NO!"

I want to follow him, I want to go with him into those dark waters and die with him, and I desperately try to bring my legs up over the side of the bridge, but someone reaches forward and keeps my feet on the ground. I ignore them, not bothering to turn around to see who they are.

My breathing is ragged and short, my head overtaken with the pain of my violent sobbing as I reach out towards the water, wishing to summon Dan back.

"DON'T GO, DAN, PLEASE! DON'T GO, I NEED YOU! DAN!"

I sob, scratching my arms on the rough concrete as I try and scrabble over the edge, so I can fall into the water just like Dan.

"DAN! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME, I'M RIGHT HERE, DON'T GO! Please..."

But again, more people come forward and grab my limbs and hold me back from falling to my death. I whip round, irritated to see who I stopping me from doing what I want to do, and I'm surprised to see my brother Martyn stood beside me.

"Phil." He says, calmly. "He's here. Wake up."

"He's not..."

"He is."

"He can't be. Dan's... gone."

"I never left you. I was always waiting for you, Phil."

I fall to my knees, weak and exhausted and trembling. Why can't this all end? Why was I endlessly being tortured from that very day that I had my accident. It felt like years ago now.

I knees give way and I collapse onto the floor, my elbow scratching painfully on the stone as I close my eyes.

"I never left you. I was always waiting for you, Phil."

...

"I never left you. I was always waiting for you, Phil."

I feel warmth. I still hear the traffic, but I feel warm, like I'm sat next to a cosy fire.

The traffic seems closer than it was when I was on the bridge. Had I moved?

"Phil?"

I bring my hands up to rub my eyes, and I notice my position. I'm still lying down, but my head is propper up on something warm and soft, like a pillow, but more stable. It's slightly damp, but that's probably from the rain.

As my arms come up from around myself, I accidentally hit something. Something smooth.

I use my hand to feel around this funny shaped thing. When I bring my hand up, I feel something soft and bristly, like hair. When I bring my hair slightly furthur down, I feel two dips, side by side, and a long bump in the middle. The bump grows bigger as I feel downwards, and I take it in between my two fingers and squish it slightly. It feels like a-

"That's my nose, you berk."

I whip my hand away, sitting up properly as fast as lightning and my eyes rip open and I realise where I am and whose lap I am propped up on and who is affectionately staring at me.

No words are needed.

No words are needed as I jump up and throw myself onto him, flinging my arms around his neck, pulling him into the neediest hug ever, because I have missed him, I have missed him and his touch and his face and his voice and his mannerisms and his hair. I missed Dan. And now I had him back and he was holding me and we were sobbing with happiness and laughing like the dorks we are when we had both come so close to losing one another forever.

No words were needed for a long time, as we were both laying there, with me flat out across Dan's front as I cried tears of happiness down his black jumper, the blood covering me completely forgotten about, as we slowly quietened down and silently listened to the traffic rumbling past, only mere feet from our heads as we lay on the damp tarmac.

No words were needed when we heard a low horn beep and we both looked up to see Sarah in the ambulance beside the pavement, with tears staining her face and Chris and PJ shouting joyously from the back of the vehicle.

No words were needed as I shakily stood up, reaching out a hand to help Dan up too, and we both slowly trudged to the ambulance, using each other for support before we both fell over into the middle of the road.

No words were said as Dan opened the door and carefully climbed into the front beside Sarah. As I went to follow him, I slipped and lost my grasp on the door but Dan grabbed my hand before I fell backwards, and laughed before pulling me in beside him.

No words were said on the journey back, still stuck in the slow traffic. Not from Sarah, Chris or PJ, and I respected that. They knew we needed some silence.

No words were said as Dan reached his arm around my shoulder and pulled me in, lacing his fingers around my shoulder, as I breathed in his scent that I had missed for so long, even though it was slightly masked by the smell of sweat and damp.

No words were said as we arrived at the hospital, Chris and PJ helping us both down from the ambulance, and supporting us into the building.

However, words were said as we entered the building, but not by any of us five. Everybody seemed to know about "The four guys and Sarah". Everyone knew the story, whether it had been twisted by some slightly or not. People stared, mouths fully open. Jess, the rude receptionist, almost fainted when we passed her in the corridor. It was incredible.

No words were said as we entered my hospital room, and Dan and I both lay down in my single bed, side by side, even though there was barely any room, and I was almost falling out of the bed entirely.

No words were said as Sarah tended to my smashed nose, applying a plaster and gently rubbing it with oils and creams. She did the same to Dan's scraped elbows, being very careful at all times.

No words were said as Sarah, Chris and PJ left the room, leaving Dan and I in the small hospital bed, clutching onto each other so I didnt fall off the edge of the bed.

And then, words were said.

"Phil, I am so sorry for getting angry. I'm sorry for shouting at you, ignoring you. I would do anything to go back and stop myself from doing all those things-"

"No, Dan, I'm sorry. I made a huge mistake and now your parents hate us."

"I cared then, but now I couldn't care less."

"Why?"

"It took you being put into a coma for me to realise that nothing could ever prepare me for the pain I would go through if you had died."

"Well, I didn't die."

"I'm glad."

"Me too, Phil. Me too."

A comfortable and sleepy silence took over the room, until Dan said,

"I missed you."

And nothing else was said as they both lay in each other's company.

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