wake up, phil - [phan]

{ 19 } - Panic

PJ's POV

It was slowly breaking Chris.

I could see it.

Every time we went to the hospital, Chris would bite his lip in anticipation and sit bolt upright, waiting for Sarah to come and tell us the news and take us to see Dan and Phil. And every time, Sarah would say that nothing had changed, and Phil still wasn't awake.

Every goddamn time.

And every time she did, Chris would slump in his seat, and sigh. His gaze would drop and as we left the hospital, tears would fill his eyes.

But he never said anything to me. I was currently just spending the week over at Chris' appartment and he spent the evenings in front of the tv or in his room, being his usual self.

But except, far less chatty, witty, rude or funny. Or happy.

He wasn't happy anymore.

Over the three days Phil had been in his coma, Chris had become more and more silent and gloomy.

It was horrible.

It was breaking Dan too.

He had insisted on staying with Phil and every time I saw him, he looked more and more broken and exhausted.

That nurse - Sarah - had really kindly put a bed in for him. But he didn't really use it. He just sat in the chair and watched over Phil like a night owl.

Both of them - Chris and Dan - were starting to look like they needed face lifts. Chris dragged his feet everywhere and Dan seemed permanently slumped. Both of their faces got darker and darker every minute of the day.

I did all I could to support both of them, with the help of Sarah too. I'd try and crack rude jokes whenever I was with Chris, and he'd smile at me.

But only briefly. Very briefly.

I try to make jokes about Kanye and Radiohead to Dan, but he'd never smile. Well, he would, but only very slightly. Blink and you missed it.

Come on, Phil.

I feel like my three best friends had been ruthlessly torn from me, one in a coma, and two depressed and gloomy and unhappy.

Come on, Phil.

It wasn't the same anymore. I wanted my best mates back. We's shared the best times together.

Come on, Phil.

I need you to wake up.

I want to go back to how everything was.

Come on, Phil.

Wake up.

Dan's POV

The days passed in blurrs. I didn't care about anything anymore apart from being with Phil and near him and beside him, just making sure he was alright.

I'd only had one heart-wrenching moment over the past few days. I can't remember what time it had been, I barely looked at the clock anymore.

I was just whispering in Phil's ear, listening to the consistent rhythmic beeping of the monitors. It was almost a relaxing sound now that I was used to it.

And the bleeping steadily got faster and faster less orderly.

My heart raced as I leaped up and ran for the door. I wrenched it open and dashed down the corridor, sweat forming on my forhead.

"Please!" I shouted to a startled doctor, who I'd never seen before.

He was a tall, with a shiny bald head, and sharp features. He looked at me in shock.

"What's wrong, son?" He said

"My friend... He-I... He's in a coma and the beeping pattern is going funny and I think something's wrong-"

"Which ward room is he in?"

"Twenty-seven, fourth down on the left."

He raced towards the door to Phil's room and headed in.

He stopped in his tracks so that I almost smashed into the back of him.

The doctor approached the monitors and spent a few seconds staring at their screens. It wasn't until he breathed a sigh of relief and said,

"He's fine. He's just having a bad dream," that I had been holding my breath the entire time.

I sighed and collapsed into the chair.

"Well done for being alert, son," he said.

"Thank you, doctor." I replied quietly, and he left the room and closed the door.

I was scared. Scared, that the beeping would stop. Scared, that the monitors would fail on Phil. Scared, that something would happen or go wrong.

But mostly I was scared.

Scared, that Phil wouldn't ever wake up.

Scared, that I would have to live alone.

Scared, that I would never be able to apologise to Phil.

Scared scared scared.

Come on, Phil.

I can't stand being scared anymore.

Come on, Phil.