NoahXMichael Au's<3

Bodyguard AU part 4

Idea from - @Felicityafton07
This au has not ended for anyone thats new, the entire book has been continued so please check for the continued book on my account x
-------
Michael's pov:
"You look worried, what's wrong, firefly?" Father asked within seconds of me even stepping into his office, as usual he was fixing an animatronic.

"Did you know i wasn't just a boy?" i first said

"What do you mean, you are a boy biologically." he frowned at me

"Apparently not, I'm intersex." i frowned back at him

"How can that make any sense? We would've noticed even if it was a mix up with the doctors." he stood up and looked at me concerned, i handed him my results, his eyebrows continued to raise the more he read on, until his jaw dropped.

"So your pregnant?" he looked at me as i nodded

"But then you should be happy about it, why are you upset about it? Because you didn't know about your gender?" he placed my results on his desk

"No, i don't care about that, i care because i don't want it." i admitted

"What? How come?" he places his clean hand on my arm

"Because there's no point, i don't think I'm ready to just step up as a parent, not even for Delilah and it'll be a handful to look after Delilah and this new born when she hasn't even gotten used to me, plus Noah already basically experienced being a first time dad so what's the point with this one? I'd rather just stick with Delilah." i explained

"Michael, that's not true, of course it's hard work to look after two kids but that's normal, you learn to adapt and i know it's hard because of Noah's ex but you've come so far already, why are you just suddenly giving up?"

"Because it feels like Noah is just going to slowly drift away from me if i do have this baby."

"That isn't true, Noah loves you whole heartedly."

"I know but what if?" i stopped myself and pressed my lips together, looking down.

"Plus with missions and underboss duties, it's all too much i can't just ditch it for a baby, I'm in no place to look after one, Delilah is okay because she's a child, she can be looked after while me and Noah are gone but a baby can't, I'd need to stay behind."

"Someone can take your place until your ready to start up again and you don't have to do it, your mother quit it to look after you so if that's what will help you then do it, I'm not going to be annoyed." he reassures but it isn't enough, i can't believe anybody, i can't even listen to myself.

After a while of failed convincing, i went back home with a pack of abortion pills, believing i could just hide the pregnancy from everybody instead, well i guess father went a bit ahead of me, i left the pills in my car just in case anyways.

"Michael?" Noah immediately called my name the moment i stepped into the house, i sighed already knowing why he was calling me by my name and not a nickname.

"Yeah?" i kept a calm expression on me, despite completely panicking on the inside as he pats the sofa, gesturing i should sit next to him.

"What is this all about?"

"My father rang you?" i raised an eyebrow as he nodded

"Well, what he said was true but i didn't really want you to know." i sighed

"How come? What's wrong?" he took my hand into his as i looked him into the eyes again, i felt bad about this entire situation which only made me want to get rid of it all.

"I just don't think, having Delilah and another kid is good for us."

"Why?"

"Because, it's already a handful getting her comfortable and then it's going to be a bigger struggle looking after me, then a newborn, i dont want that burden on you, i would much rather you look after just Delilah instead."

"Michael, that won't be the case."

"It will be." i huffed

"I would never love you less just because there's kids in the house, Michael, if you didn't want it before you should've said so-"

"No, i don't mind Delilah around but won't two be too much? It's too early."

"It's never too early, i think it's perfect and i don't think you should just abort the baby, Michael." i knew he was being serious because he was also addressing me by my name, i just shrugged it off and sighed, leaving it at that.

I waited a few more days till Noah was out with Delilah to actually use the pills, i was in the bathroom, the packet laying on the side of the sink as i stared at the pills and wondered whether what i was doing was right, did i actually want the baby? Am i thinking negatively for no reason?

I glanced over at the cup of water next to the pills and then back at the pills, pressing my lips together, since i was in the first trimester it'd take a week for the abortion to actually happen.

"Fuck it." i said to myself as i popped out about three or four pills out the packet but just as i was about to grab my cup, Noah grabbed onto my jaw and another snaked around my waist, my eyes widened, where the fuck did he even come from?

"Spit it out." he demanded, i refused shaking my head, although i didn't have long before I'd have to.

"Michael, spit it out, i know this isn't what you actually want, me and you both know that." his eyes softened as i made eye contact with him, he was right, i was so stuck onto one thought i didn't think of anything else, he was right, i did want to have the baby eventually,I've always wanted to have my own kids, so why am i refusing so much?

I blinked at him as a response, noticing the desperation in his eyes, did he really want to have a kid with me too? Seeing that, i spat the pills into the sink, coughing as he passed me some water.

"Why would you even think to do that?" he held on to my arm, probably knowing I'd grab for the pills again which was when an awful memory of us in the past, i looked at him again, he was definitely thinking of that time too when i tried to end my life after father had passed and he tried to stop me.

"I don't know, sorry." i cleared my throat, blinking in hopes to get that memory out of my head, he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close.

"How many times do i have to tell you that you can talk to me? I would never be angry at you for something like this, Michael but i could tell instantly what you were saying wasn't what you wanted or i would've never done this." he stroked my hair, i didn't say anything, he stayed hugging me for a while.

Later on, we we're both on our bed, just casually talking, i think he was trying to distract me from the entire thought but i felt guilty of reminding him of such a memory.

"Noah." i layed on his shoulder

"Yeah?" he wrapped his arm around me tighter

"I'm sorry about before, i know that reminded me of what happened last time, i wasn't thinking, i guess just thinking of Diana freaked me out badly." i explained

"I know and I'm sorry, this must be hard on you too but we'll get through it together, okay?" he kissed my forehead as i nodded in agreement.