The Worst Warriors Fanfic Ever

Epilogue

New admin Blaze here to take a crack at this parody thing. My humor is mainly dry sarcasm (I love dry british humor you have no idea) so this is new. And fun! Yay! Lightning edited and she thinks that Blaze's epilogue was HILARIOUS.

Goldenfur, the medicine cat that the author actually re-read the story to find out about, fell asleep drunk and exhausted after the party, unconcious on a massive dog-pile of cats.

If any cat asked her the best thing about being a medicine cat, she would tell them about the parties they had in StarClan.

"YEEEEAAAHHHH MAN! WE WON!" A random StarClan cat yelled in her ear. Goldenfur could barely see a thing because of all the neon disco lights covering the clearing.

"I KNOW!" She shouted back. He twirled around and collapsed in a heap on the floor, hiccuping pretty green bubbles.

Goldenfur ignored it and continued through the party until she found the same random old cats that first told her the prophecy.

"We did it!" she told them cheerfully.

One of them stared at her. "Weren't you banished from ThunderClan for having an affair a few chapters ago?"

Goldenfur shrugged. "I still get the ThunderClan prophecies. That nameless apprentice who is still there doesn't even believe in StarClan, you know. Nowadays they never do. It's something about a Mothwing cult that's apparently in with all the hip apprentices. It's best not to question."

The starry cats nodded in agreement.

"So Yellow defeated the threat, right? I can't even tell what the threat was anymore, because she destroyed ShadowClan and Stripefur like twenty times already," Goldenfur said.

The old tom shrugged. "Well she did something. She's awesome, so who cares?"

"YEAAAHH!" they all cheered.

"So we're good, right? No more threats?" she asked.

The tom burst out in raucous laughter, scaring all the mice in the clearing. The birds didn't mind, though.

"No silly. Of course there are more threats! Stripefur only died once so far! We still have to kill him six more times in the Dark Forest before they stop making sequels about this!"

Goldenfur tilted her head, confused, but the old tom had already nodded off. A different starry cat, a ginger she-cat next to him, shoved him aside.

"It's typical money-making. Kind of like how Breaking Dawn had two parts that probably could have fit into one. Not that I've watched that." The she-cat shoved her copy of Twilight under the nearest log.

"Anyway! Yeah, when an author or director wants more funding and publicity, they leave tons of plotholes that can later be filled in with DLC content or can even lead to a sequel. Why do you think the Dark Forest exists? We can re-use our dead villains for future conflicts! Super convenient, because we're much too lazy to find other villains and make up new prophecies. The old ones are good enough, right?"

Goldenfur nodded in understanding. "So there is going to be a sequel?"

"Oh yeah! Dude we are milking this like you wouldn't believe! Look at what we've already got from Yellowstar's awesomeness!" The starry cat gestured around her at the massive piles of money and prey that lined the clearing. "We're updating every StarClan cat's phone tommorow! It'll be great! I'll just call you if we get another prophecy. It's much easier then this dream thing."

Goldenfur tilted her head, confused. "What's a phone?" she asked.

The ginger cat sighed. "You poor Clan cats don't know what you're missing. All the kittypets have them, ask around! for now, LETS PARTAAY!"

And so Goldenfur and the ginger she-cat jumped onto the dance floor and began break dancing with all the might of StarClan.

~~

Far below them on Earth or whatever Clan cats call the ground, Yellowstar was still partying like you wouldn't believe. The rest of the Clan had knocked out hours ago but she was still going strong, flailing around and boogie-ing with Bubblefur (who I just nearly called Bubblebutt, whoops).

"WE'RE AWESOME! YEAH, WE'RE AWESOME, YEAH YEAH YEAH!" Bubblefur cheered loudly.

"Let's party until the sequel!" Yellowstar said, munching on some chips.

"What sequel?" Bubblefur asked.

"Well ShadowClan still exists with all their EVILLY-EVIL cats. They're so EVIL that it's in all caps every time you write it! And we will have to stop them! Because of course they're jealous of me and my awesomeness but they can't admit it," she said.

Bubblefur nodded. "Yeah, they're probably sitting right outside of our camp talking about how EVIL they are and how angry they are that we are awesome and they're EVIL and lame!" At that moment, a few curses could be heard outside of the wall and a few dark shapes ran from the outside of the camp, smuggling some hamburgers and chips.

Yellowstar nodded in agreement. "It's what they do. ShadowClan is probably plotting our demise right now. That's how inherently EVIL ShadowClan is. It's so hard, being the super awesome good ThunderClan cats."

"Well let's just party then! We don't have to care until the sequel, right?" Bubblefur said.

"Oh yeah."

So they partied all night.

The end.