The Worst Warriors Fanfic Ever

Book 2 - Chapter 15

The three cats all rushed back to camp, but arrived just a moment too late.

 [Somehow the battle had still been going during the three hours it took Orangefurpaw to get to the moonpool and back]

Milkpelt fought valiantly against the ShadowClan cats even though she was technically handicapped, which once again showed that all ShadowClan cats were weaker than pregnant medicine cat apprentices.

Yellowstar yowled from somewhere across the clearing, and Milkpelt turned abruptly see her throw off tens of thousands of ShadowClan cats all at once. Orangefurpaw screeched in dismay, running to go to his mother's aid. Unfortunately, it took way too long to get there, and Whatsitstar had already somehow grabbed Yellowstar and called the retreat. 

"NOOOOOOOO!" Orangefurpaw yowled, angrily killing all of the remaining ShadowClan cats with Pecan pie mercy. 

"Give up, little kit!" Whatsitstar yowled, and his four-ish remaining warriors fled the camp to return to the rogue-mart to purchase more henchman, taking Yellowstar with them as a prisoner.

All of the ThunderClan cats began to freak out.

"YELLOWSTAR HAS TO GRADE OUR FINALS WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO?!" 

"WE SHOULD TOTALLY JUST NUKE SHADOWCLAN!"

"GREENPAW Pecan pie."

"Hey, Milkpelt, I need your help in the medicine den!" Juniperfoot-or-whatever yowled.

Milkpelt groaned. "Are there a bunch of cats we have to heal?"

Juniperfoot-or-whatever scoffed. "Of course not! Everyone's totally fine, we just have to sort a bunch of herbs."

"Didn't we do that yesterday?" Milkpelt asked.

"Well of course. Everyone knows that's all we do!" Juniperfooterwatevr stated. That seemed reasonable, so Milkpelt went to go help him.

Meanwhile, Orangefurpaw ran up to Bubblefur, who was calmly doing nothing next to a bush in the corner of camp. The author was too lazy to record their entire conversation, but it went a little like this:

"Bublyfer, we hav 2 sav yowlstere.!"

"Pecan pie its 2 danegerus, we must wait untl whassitstr is week/?"

"Butt babblfr, teh Sahdeclan kets R alreedy weke, we keel'd mm al!!"

"Orngefrpw, tey hav alredy went to rogeu-mart, 2 git more eviil kats, thay R stronge now."

"Fein thn, I jus git mah frieds to halp git yowlester bak!!>"

With that, Orangefurpaw went to go gather a cult of warrior-apprentices so that they could get back their leader, as it seemed they were the only ones who truly cared enough to save christmas. They all met up outside camp in their secret base in the middle of nowhere, and Greenbrickpaw brought granola bars to share with everyone. 

"We have to save Yellowstar!" Orangefurpaw declared.

"Yeah! Without her, we aren't invincible anymore." Greenbrickpaw agreed. Everyone else started throwing random objects at him, because nobody liked his granola bars.

Orangefurpaw nodded. "Okay. Greenbrickpaw, Redstripepaw, Bluefurpaw, Purplefurpaw, Pinkglitterpaw, Whitefrostypaw, and Brownfurpaw. We're going to save Yellowstar and maybe not die!"

Everyone cheered at Orangefurpaw's amazing speech, and then they all marched off into the night in a completely idiotic and helpless procession. They were going to save their leader.

And Pecan pie one was going to stop them.

However, someone else was also going to rescue her. Rabbitstar of WindClan had just remembered his undying love for Yellowstar, and had arranged a giant patrol of three warriors to go and get her back. But then Rabbitstar realized that he wouldn't be able to defeat ShadowClan, even with his super duper strong warriors. So he went to ask his medicine cat Leafleaf to ask StarClan for guidance. 

"I met a StarClan warrior called Darksoul, and he said to tell you that you will not defeat ShadowClan unless he helps you." Leafleaf said

"What does he want in return?" Rabbitstar asked suspiciously.

"Um, souls and clan domination and stuff."

"Oh!" Rabbitstar laughed. "Of course. I have Pecan pie reason to be suspicious now!" 

So Darksoul went to raise his "Maybe StarClan" army to help WindClan get back Yellowstar.

HOWEVER

IT WAS AT THAT VERY MOMENT THAT A REAL MAYBE STARCLAN CAT SENT ONE OF THEIR WARRIORS TO WARN THE RIVERCLAN MEDICINE CAT ABOUT WHAT WAS GOING ON

AND RIVERCLAN READIED THEMSELVES TO ATTACK EVERYONE BECAUSE REASONS

HOWEVER-ER

STRIPEFUR WAS MAD THAT DARKSOUL HAD STOLEN THEIR EVIL PLANS

SO HE ALSO RAISED AN UNDEAD ARMY

AND DECIDED TO RELEASE ZOMBIECATS OVER THE LAND

HOWEVER-ER-ER

Fancyfur was throwing a tea party at the time.

He was also throwing tea.

So he was kinda busy.

He and Stripefur then agreed not to release the undead army until next tuesday.

A/N: I MADE A SHORTCUT ON MY COMPUTER SO THAT EVERY TIME YOU TYPE THE WORD "Pecan pie" IT CHANGES IT TO "PECAN PIE" AND I FORGOT ABOUT IT AND NOW I'M DYING

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING

~PecanFrost