The Worst Warriors Fanfic Ever

Book 2 - Chapter 2

Orangekit walked over to the medicine den with his sister, who had now made up with him. They were, of course, unsupervised, because why would anyone be watching them? The medicine den was empty, because the medicine cat had gone to collect herbs on his own. He's still an unnamed apprentice, but who cares?

Milkkit looked up at her large brother with her bright green eyes, even though she was, like, a month old. Everyone knows cats TOTALLY don't get their actual eye colour when they're about three months, and that they're OBVIOUSLY born with their rainbow eyes. They're now using the word month, by the way, because that's 'cool' and 'hip' with all the young'ins these days.

"Hey, even though I want to become a medicine cat with all my heart, let's go trash the medicine den and eat some of the crap they have in here!" Mintkit exclaimed.

"Yeah! But wait, what's a crap?" Orangekit asked.

"I dunno, the cat who I was named after said it. You know, the one who swears more than a drunk trooper named Steve."

"Oh, right. Duh."

So the two kits messed up the entire medicine den without attracting any attention to themselves. They also ate some of the seeds and stuff. And half a Mars bar that had been lying in the corner for God knows how long.

The unnamed medicine cat apprentice suddenly came back in and found them, passed out in the exact center of the den.

Orangekit then said dramatically, "I see a bright white light. It's so shiny! Can I eat it?" even though he was supposed to be passed out.

The unnamed medicine cat apprentice, who for the sake of my fingers not getting sore from typing his name so many times we shall call 'The UMCA', tapped them both, waking them immediately. "You two are in so much trouble! But since you're special snowflakes and the children of the great and holy Yellowstar, I shall never actually punish you, and we shall forget of this instance. But I am calling your mother with my brand new Samsung Galaxy and getting her to pick you up."

"K." The kits both said that at the same time.

So the UMCA quickly dialled Yellowstar and told her to get her rambunctious kits. She came quickly, her iPhone 7c in paw. The UMCA was jelly she had such advanced technology.

Yellowstar and her kits were magically back at the nursery, and like the unnamed medicine cat apprentice said earlier, they were in no trouble whatsoever. Yellowstar had known that they hadn't eaten anything poisonous or whatever, because they're smarter than some of the warriors, thanks to their mother's amazing brain.

They then continued to do kit things, like: annoy the crap out of Milkpelt and all of the other elders, who were, of course, female; eat some mars bars they found scattered around the camp from the last dance party; jam out to adult music because they're so swag and hip; and sneak out of camp successfully because nobody ever watches them.

After what was of course around 15 minutes of said kit things, they returned to the nursery, where their mother then cleaned them for the next hour or so.

This was written by Frosty! Miss me? ;D 🌰

As usual, here's lightning to edit!