The Worst Warriors Fanfic Ever

Book 2 - Chapter 14

BLAZE IS WRITING THIS ONE BECAUSE SHE FINALLY FOUND A MOMENT FOR THIS ONE JOKE THAT SHE HAS WANTED TO SAY FOREVER! Try to guess which one it is!

~Blaze

Milkpelt (when was she made a proper Warrior? Did she even have a ceremony?) jumped carefully out of the jeep and narrowly avoided landing in the moonpool. Juniperfoot had parked it about an foot.... er, tail-length, away from the  edge of the clear water, but hadn't even done the gentlemanly thing and helped her out.

Of course the second the car was parked Juniperfoot jumped out of it. He climbed onto the hood and swan dived directly into the water.

"What is it with you young'uns and not helping a pregnant cat out of her car?" She yowled at him.

He popped up from the water, spitting a stream in her direction.

"I'm actually older than you. And technically the contract you signed to become my apprentice says you can't get pregnant, but that's mostly because StarClan doesn't cover the cost for and sort of sick leave."

As he spoke, the copious amounts of catmint that he had ingested earlier came out and he hacked a disturbingly green ball of phlegm and catmint into the water. It floated there, turning the water all around a murky green color.

Milkpelt stared with distaste as Juniperfoot, who had swallowed enough water to initiate the connection with StarClan, fell unconscious in the water. She spent a few moments pulling his body from the pool so that he wouldn't drown. By then, the water had mixed with the throw up, turning the pool an even darker green color.

Milkpelt shuddered for a moment before dunking a paw into the pool, pulling it out, and taking a very tiny lick of the water.

Thankfully she was out like a light before she could truly taste the water.

When she came to, she found herself once more amongst the cats of StarClan. This moon must have been a particularly good one, because she found herself surrounded by a multitude of cats partying and jamming to loud music.

The forest itself was covered in multicolored lights, with strings of flashing lights hanging over tree branches and large circular pool lights shining into the night sky. Milkpelt wandered through the area, practically blinded, and tried desperately to find Juniperfoot.

"Juniperfoot! WHERE ARE YOU?" She called out loudly. As she did, her foot caught a low hanging light and she found herself tumbling head over heels (unharmed) directly into the form of another cat.

He looked up, and as he caught her eye smiled and nodded his head in greeting.

"Milkpelt! Wonderful! Just the cat I was looking for." He said.

Milkpelt was frozen in front of him, however, stunned by this cat, who she could now see was very attractive. His dark brown pelt was mottled with light brown streaks that made his every movement shimmer, and she almost felt her heart stop as her eyes met his hazel ones.

"I have a mate already." She blurted out, brain having not quite registered what exactly he was saying. His head tilted slightly.

"I'm sorry, what?" He asked.

"You're seductive wiles will never make me cheat! Begone, foul beast!" She sliced out at him with unsheathed claws but missed from the dizziness of the multicolored forest. His head tilted even further before he curiously poked her with one paw.

"Okay.... Well I'll leave if you want me to but I only came here to warn you about something." Milkpelt shook her head as his voice, smooth and sultry, washed over her. He leaned even closer to whisper in her ear.

"Some time in the near future, something is going to approach your Clan and ask for shelter. Whatever you do, don't let it in." He whispered. Milkpelt's nose scrunched in confusion.

"Yellowstar barely lets us stay in the Clan. Why would she let anyone else come in?" She asked. The brown tom blatantly ignored the question, staring down at the very clearly pregnant she-cat in front of him.

"I would watch out with that. Most medicine cat kits either come out stillborn or become crazy psychopaths. It's some medicine cat trait, I think. Or it's StarClan punishing them for breaking the rules. I should probably know which by now, seeing as I live here. Hmmm."

Milkpelt bristled and slapped his paw away from her.

"Your warnings are totally useless! Why does StarClan always do that? Send useless prophecies that we can't decipher until after all the cats are dead and send useless cats too. UGH."

As she slapped his paw, she noticed a glow coming from his face. She looked closer and noticed that his eyes that had previously been hazel were now shining bright red. She blinked, and as she did they turned hazel again.

"What is your name?" She asked with confusion. "I've never seen you here before, and I know all the cats in StarClan. Literally. Juniperfoot introduced me to everyone." She asked.

"You can call me Darksoul." He said evenly. Darksoul stood and turned to walk away, tail swishing in the air behind him. Milkpelt watched him leave, feeling even more confused then before.

"He looked like a really nice cat. Nice name too. Darksoul. Sounds so evil! He definitely won't be a problem in the future!" Juniperfoot yowled into Milkpelt's ear after magically appearing next to her.

She turned to snarl at him, but as she did she felt a strange tugging sensation. A moment later her breath caught as she was thrown out of StarClan and back to Earth. Her eyes blinked open as she took in the still very dark sky, and before her, the form of a vibrantly orange pelted cat.

"Milkpelt! We need you and Juniperfoot back at camp! ShadowClan somehow got a really big army of rogues to fight with them, and while our numbers aren't going down at all, Yellowstar somehow got overpowered even though she is super OP and they are probably going to hurt her until she is almost dead but not really dead, just not dead enough so that you can probably save her from the brink of death! Come on!" Orangepaw panted out in one really long breath.

"But I was just sharing tongues with StarClan! Leave me alone!" Milkpelt whined. Orangepaw bristled and stalked closer to her.

"NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE MAKING OUT WITH OUR ANCESTORS! OUR MOM'S LIFE IS AT STAKE! LETS! GO!" He yowled in her ear. Ignoring her annoyed cries, he grabbed her leg and magically teleported them straight into ThunderClan camp and right into the middle of the battle.

~~~~~DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!!!!!~