My Choice

Chapter 43

1 week since Jenna died

Stefan's PoV

Dear Journal,
It's been one week since Jenna passed away, Damon hasn't showed his face since the day he killed her. Elena isn't coping well at all, she's hardly feeding and she's hardly spoken to me. Right now she's sat across from me in my room just reading a book, I don't think she's even focusing on the words, she just seems lost. I need to help her, but I'm not sure which way is the best way.
Yours Sincerely,
Stefan.

I placed my journal in my desk draw and got up from my chair, I walked over to Elena and kneeled down in front of her, placing my left hand on her knee. She placed the book down beside her and rested her hand atop of mine.
"Hey" I whispered to her.
"Hey" She whispered back.
"How are you feeling?"
"Hungry" She told me.

Elena's PoV

I'm feeling starving, I feel like I wanna kill and rip every single humans head off in Mystic Falls, but I can't. That's now who I am.
Maybe if I turned it off I could be like that, without the guilt and the sadness. I've been considering it for a while, but then there's Stefan and my brother, what if I hurt them?
No I can't do it...but maybe I can? Think Elena, think!

"Do you wanna go hunting?" He asked me.
Is shook my head no.
"I thought you were hungry 'Lena?" He said.
I stood up quickly and pushed his hand away.
"For goodness sakes Stefan! Yes I'm hungry...I'm starving...I'm ready to kill the entire town but I can't! Is that what you wanted to hear!" I shouted and left the room, I hurried down the hall when Stefan pushed me up into a wall.
"What do you want me to do Elena? Tell me please. It's hurting me to see you like this! Just let me help you, please" He cried out.
Let's leave...
"Can we leave?" I said quietly and he looked into my eyes and released his hands from the wall behind me.
"Where?" He replied.
"Anywhere, show me. Show me the places you have been, Chicago, New York...Los Angeles anywhere please!" I said to him.
He went quiet for a few seconds then replied to me.
"Ok" he said and walked away.
I stood there breathing heavily and thinking about what just happened between us. I need to get out of here though.
Stefan then came back with two duffle bags.
"Ready?" He asked.
"We're leaving now?" I said surprised.
"Yes, sooner the better" He told me and walked downstairs, I followed.

We got into his car and he started driving out of Mystic Falls.
"Where are you taking me first?" I asked him.
"Chicago" He replied sternly.
"Did I do something to upset you?" I said.
"No Elena. I'm just angry in myself" He told me.
"Why?"
"Because of what you're going through, if I never came into your life, none of this would of happened" Stefan said sadly.
I didn't know what to say, so I just looked out of my window for the entire trip.

We arrived in Chicago around 6:40pm. The sun was just setting and the city was lit up brightly.
"We're here" Stefan said and got out of the car.
I got out too and helped him get the duffle bags out of the trunk.
"Where about's is 'here?" I asked him.
"My old apartment, when I was a ripper in the 1920's this is where I lived and..."
"And...I will tell you more inside" He stuttered and opened the door for me.
We arrived at his apartment door and found the lock was broken.
"This place has been vacant for decades. So people must break in all the time" He told me and I nodded my head.
We both stepped in and put our bags down. I walked over to the bed and sat on it. He came and sat behind me.
"So...what else was you gonna say out there?" I asked him quietly.
"Well, when I was a ripper I used to seduce women into coming back here with me, sometimes I slept with them other times I'd just get right to it and drain them dry, then...I would write my victims names down on the wall" Stefan explained to me.
"What wall?"
He pointed the these white shelves. I walked over to them and discovered it was also a door, I pulled it back and walked into the little cupboard. I turned to my right and found and wall, with over a thousand names written on it. I was stunned. I came back out, shut the door and looked at Stefan. He had his head bent down, twiddling with his thumbs.
I walked over to him and sat down again.
"Elena?"
"Yeh"
"How do you feel?" He asked me, again.
"You know how I feel Stefan"
"I do, but what do you want to do about it?" He said.
I didn't say the thing I wanted to say, because I knew he'd hate me.
We just sat there staring at each other, after a few minutes Stefan spoke.
"You want to turn it off don't you?" He asked me.
I nodded lightly.
"Why haven't you Elena?"
"Because I thought you'd hate me forever" I replied to him.
"I'd never hate you, but if you wanted to turn it off you should of told me..." He didn't finish his sentence.
"Why?"
"Because...cause' I'll turn it off too" He said and shot his head back up to look at me. He grabbed my hand and laced our fingers.
"W-what?"
"I'll do it too, if that's what you want, I'll do it as well" He told me.
"Really?" I said gently.
"Yes...so, are you sure?" He asked.
"Yes" I replied.
He smiled at me and placed his other hand on my cheek.
"Keep your eyes on mine Elena" And I do.
"Feel that switch in your body Elena, turn it off, all this pain will go, turn it off baby" Stefan said to me. I close my eyes and find that switch in my body.
One, two, three...it's off.
I open my eyes, it's off. I feel no pain, no sadness, no guilt. I see green eyes staring at me. Stefan.

Stefan's PoV

She opens her eyes, it's off.
I close my eyes and find the switch inside my mind and flip it. I reopen them and stare at her. She smirks and lunges towards me...

So there you go, Chapter 43. I really hope you are enjoying my story so far, I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while, I started College last week so I've been focusing on that. Anyway please vote and review:) Love Emily xx

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