Ecie & Esme II: Another Day Like This

Five

'I drove past his apartment today,' Ecie said playing with her fingers. 'I wanted to go up and see him.'

'So why didn't you?' Carole asked.

'I couldn't,' Ecie replied. 'I couldn't bring myself to leave my car.'

'Why did you decide to drive past his apartment?' Carole asked. 'Were you hoping to see him?'

'I don't know,' Ecie shrugged. 'I guess I thought that I might feel something going past it.'

'Did you?'

'No,' Ecie replied. 'I still felt the same and I still feel the same now.'

'And how is that?'

'I feel completely indifferent.'

'About what?'

'About everything,' Ecie replied. 'I know it's not numbness exactly, but I feel so unmoved and indifferent by everything that's happened.'

'You still love him,' Carole said. 'You still love all of them but you can't understand why. You can't understand why you still love the very people who affected your life negatively. You know that you should hate them, but you can't. You just don't.'

Ecie looked at Carole.

'There is nothing wrong with you,' Carole replied. 'You can't help but love them.'

'Do you think it'd be a good idea for me to see Ellis?' Ecie asked.

'Only you can decide that one,' Carole said. 'It's all up to you?'

'But as a person looking in on the outside,' Ecie asked. 'Do you think it'd be a good idea?'

'But I'm not a person looking in on the outside,' Carole replied. 'I know everything about the situation. I know as much as you do.'

'I don't think that anyone else would understand,' Ecie replied. 'They just wouldn't.'

'This isn't about other people,' Carole said. 'This is about you. You need to think about what you want. What do you want?'

'I want for all of this to have never happened,' Ecie replied. 'I want Denis to have never come to Ellis' apartment. I want to have never met Ellis. I want to be fourteen again so that I could change everything.'

'You can't do anything about what's happened,' Carole replied a few moments later. 'So what are you going to do now?'

Ecie looked up at Carole. 'I've got to accept what's happened and I've got to come to terms with everything. I'm leaving in a couple of weeks.'