"It's your parents." Ashton said.
"Yes what about them? What happened?" I asked frantically making myself have a bigger headache.
Everyone expect Ashton and Luke left the room almost immediately after I asked what happened. What's going on they're all hiding something from me and I don't like it.
"Look Tilly I don't know how to say this but I'm so sorry but they've passed away they were driving the car that crashed into you." Ashton said clearly.
I couldn't make words nothing was coming out I felt as weak as I've ever felt in my life my life is one big black hole and I'm diving head first into it. I couldn't even cry because I was that upset. Nothing happened. Luke came closer and was crying a bit. Ashton sat behind Luke placing his hand on Luke's back. I shut my eyes wishing I could go back into the coma and never wake up again. My parents were my backbone I have nothing left. One tear left my eye as everyone sat in silence. After that one tear I couldn't hold them back they all flowed out. I was shaking frantically and screaming as much as I could while crying. I basically killed my parents. It was all my fault. I'm a failure a fat ugly no good murder who killed my own parents. It felt as if my heart was being pulled out my chest and I screamed while clutching onto Luke's hand for my dear life.
Luke stopped crying and had a worried look on his face he hugged me as tight as he could but nothing can save me. My world is coming crashing down fast but I'm falling faster.
Michael, Megan and Calum must have been waiting outside because they came rushing in and Megan was crying while Michael held her close.
I killed my parents and the last thing I told them was I hated them what have I done? My whole body felt useless and empty I was shaking so much and everything was blurry. Why couldn't this be a nightmare that I wake up from?
I was screaming and crying for hours while everyone tried to comfort me.
All that ran through my head was I'm an orphan.
After hours of crying I finally stopped and was just blubbering.
"Til." Luke gently said.
"It's all my fault isn't it?"
"NO Tilly don't ever think that it's far from your fault." He raised his voice.
"We're all here for every step of the way T I promise we'll never leave you, you have us and your brother and the rest of your family and our families it's all going to be fine I'm so sorry." Michael said with a sleeping Megan on his chest.
"Thank you." I said to them both.
"You guys should get some rest." Calum said.
By that time everyone was tired but I couldn't sleep.
"Don't lie to me Luke it's my fault I killed my parents the last thing I told them was that I hated them." I said.
"Tilly I promise you it's not your fault they know how much you love them they'll be watching you right now listening to you missing you and hoping you get better it's never ever going to be your fault. Don't worry about it we're here."
"Well when should I worry about it I killed my parents Luke I'm a murder when will that get into that stupid head of yours you say you love me through sympathy you can't love me I should be locked up not sat here being told how amazing I am I hate this why didn't I die?"
"Don't say that Til." He quickly snapped back.
"Why not? Everyone will think it I've ruined Sam's life I killed someone's son and daughter don't praise me for killing." I replied.
He shook his head at me and grabbed my hand but I pulled it away as fast as I could.
Luke went to sleep soon after. I slowly and quietly got out the bed holding onto my crutches and the small drip attached wheeling it towards the door so I could get out. I went down the corridor to the main office and asked if I can get some food they told me yes and showed me where the canteen was.
I got some fruit salad and toast then sat on my own table to eat I managed to eat it all and sat staring out the huge window that was in front of me the city on full display all the night lights cars and buildings. I'd never been good at showing much emotion but as soon as I found out mum and dad died I couldn't do anything but scream and cry. Even my best friends had hardly ever seen me cry before.
Another tear made its way down my cheek but I wiped it away quickly.
"Tilly?" Some asked behind so I turned around I saw the clock read 03:00. I hadn't realised I'd been sat for 3 hours.
It was Michael with his brightly coloured pastel blue and purple hair spiking up everywhere it look as if no one had slept for days.
"You ok I mean like really ok?" He asked taking a seat next to me staring at the city.
"I miss them Mikey." I truthfully said.
"Everyone will T Luke's taken it badly he's beating himself up about everything blaming himself."
"Why it's not his fault he didn't do anything." I stated.
"I know and I don't want you or him to beat yourselves up or get depressed. Can I tell you something?" I nodded my head to let him continue. "Imagine you're in outer space floating around and you have everything you'll ever need and everyone you love around you you're invincible and nothing can stop you. What's just happened made a black hole and I don't want you or Luke falling or being dragged into that black hole I've been there before it's like your trapped inside yourself and no one has the key. But you'll find your key one day everyone does for me my key was Megan and I think we both know who yours is? He needs you and you need him it's times like this that other people really count don't push us away we love you. We're all here for you."
"Thank you Mikey I'm sorry." I said.
"When people get depressed sometimes they might get scars on our arms. Battle wounds. Some people have them inside some people have them out. And my 'war' has died down because of Megan and you guys and I won I want you to win to don't be sucked into the hole it's the hardest thing to dig out of." He said looking at his bracelets that covered some scars.
"I'll be ok Mikey. I just need time to process this. I have you guys I know that and I love you all and I'll win this battle don't worry about me I'll do it for you and Luke and my parents." I said feeling much stronger than before.
"Good. Promise you'll come too me with ANY problems? I don't care if it's today tomorrow or 100 years from now. I'm always here Tilly." He said smiling.
I know I'll be ok as long as I have everyone surrounding me. Michael has Megan Ashton has us Calum has us and I have Luke I need to apologise to Luke and the others before I can do anything else but I'll come out the other end I'm sure.
