Chaos

Chapter 29: Not Again - Nicole

Chapter 29- Not Again

Nicole

I walked out of the house and into the cold night air. The stars were shining brightly and I remembered laying in the truck bed with Nate. Had it only been yesterday? So much had happened so fast.

"Hey," I hear and turn to see Jesse. He wouldn't look me in the eye. Instead he sat in a chair and stared at the beautiful night sky.

"Sorry Jesse," I say as I cross my arms because of the cold. "I'll just go back into the house."

"No, it's okay Nicole," he says with a half-smile. "I actually wanted to talk to you anyway."

"Oh, is it about the other night?" I ask, slightly scared that Jesse would get mad.

"Sort of, more like what you saw."

"Are you worried that I will tell everyone?"

I take the seat next to him and he lets out a deep breath and just simply nods. I had a feeling that he had been silently dealing with this for a long time.

"I'm just worried, because I've never told anyone that I was...you know," says Jesse, not meeting my eyes. I smile at him anyway.

"Don't worry about it. If you don't want people to know just yet- or ever, I won't be the one to spoil it for you," I say reassuringly.

Jesse smiles graciously, and wraps me in a giant bear hug.

"So how long have you known you were gay?" I ask curiously. Jesse sits once more and it's like we're old friends.

"I think I've always knew. I never told the guys because I know they'd make fun of me, and maybe not be my friend anymore," he confesses.

"I don't mean to insult you if I do, but I think that's a little silly. These guys seem like they would accept you no matter who you choose to love," I say honestly.

Jesse finally meets my eyes, looking almost hopeful.

"Are you sure?" he asks.

I nod a smile on my face.

"Good," he says with a sigh of relief and I laugh, like actually laugh. It felt good, I hadn't laughed all day.

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about. You don't have to hide it."

"You're right... It is kind of hard though. Knowing I'll never have children, not being able to walk my daughter down the aisle, my family name just ending."

"Would you rather have that, or be with someone you truly love, someone you can honestly be yourself?" I ask and he smiles to himself.

"You Nicole, are an amazing friend to have. Maybe you should take your own advice," He tells me and I don't quite understand what he means. I raise an eyebrow at him. "I mean you should fix things with Nate, if you want that person you can be yourself with."

I was interrupted before I could answer him.

"Look Nick!" Sam says running up the stairs from the woods. "A rabbit bit me!"

"Sammy!" I say a little sharper than I wanted. "That's not a good thing! Let's go get that cleaned up."

I took Sam inside and dragged him to the bathroom.

"Sorry Nick," Sam says washing his bloody finger. "I just wanted to pet the rabbit."

"It's okay," I tell him smiling, knowing I would have wanted to touch the rabbit too. "You just better hope it doesn't get infected."