Letters to Joshua

KABANATA 11

The Real Reason

"Dear Juliet,

I got your painting by the way. Your effort is not wasted. You're good at painting huh. I hope to see more of it someday. I just want you to know that I am amazed by it. That painting will always bring our memories back when we met in Caleruega. :) Thank you for giving it Juliet. And as a form of respect and appreciation, I'll also give you a gift. I hope you will appreciate it as much as I love your work. We can continue writing letters as long as you want it to last. The next time you send your letter, maybe you can tell me more about yourself Juliet.

Love,
Joshua"

Somehow I felt guilty pretending someone who I can never be. Pero hindi ko kayang palagpasin 'to. This woman is talented. Maybe Brian is right. I want to know more about her. I know there is more about her that her letters cannot bear to share.

Madaling araw pa lang binalot ko na yung canvas. Isasabay ko na din yung sulat dito para hindi ko na kailangan pang dumaan ng post office. Maaga kong drinive yung pick up truck Linggo ng umaga para hindi mahalata ng mga magulang kong nagstay ako sa bahay. Tapos dinaanan ko yung shipping company para maipadala na yung canvas tapos dumiretso na ko sa trabaho.

I'm nervous. Baka makahalata si Juliet. I hope she's not. I'm starting to love this game and I'm starting to win it.

Pero bakit ganon? How did the other Joshua know my apartment's address? Bakit mali yung address niya? How weird is that? I'm starting to think that he's not really into Juliet. What a waste.

Isang linggo na kong inuubo. Dahil siguro sa klima nung pumunta kaming Caleruega. Nakakainis. Ang kati sa lalamunan.

Halos anim na araw ulit bago may dumating na sulat kay Juliet.

"Dear Joshua,

I cannot believe my eyes Joshua! You made this? Ginawa mo to para sa'kin? Thank you! You're really really good! I never thought that you also paint. Halos hindi sumagi sa isip ko but here we are stuck in our own happiness found in colors and brushes.
It's one of my hobbies Joshua. I love painting, strumming my guitar. I love doing everything that life has to give. Give your bet on me, kaya kong gawin lahat. Haha biro lang. How about you Joshua? Alam kong hindi lang pagpipinta ang kaya mo Joshua. Tell me more about yourself too. :) I hope these words aren't running out. Madami akong gustong sabihin pero nabablanko ako dahil sa painting mo. :) Anyway, what's your favorite painting Joshua? :)

Love,
Juliet"

I smiled to the thought that she's also playing instruments pero mabilis ding naalis iyon sa isip ko dahil sa huling tanong na nabasa ko sa sulat niya. I love painting so much and I love a lot of paintings to be exact. If I have my own money to buy some of the well known paintings in the world, baka binili ko na lahat.

Agad akong kumuha ng papel at sobre at nagsimula akong magsulat pabalik kay Juliet.

"Hey Juliet,

I tried balancing my favorite paintings of all time and I ended up with The Son of Man by Renè Magritte. You know that painting aren't you? It's a man in a coat and a bowler hat with an apple in the center of his face. It's a simple painting but I have a deep personal interpretation about it. Renè once quoted that everything we see hides another thing, we always want to see what is hidden by what we see. Maybe it's also applicable for the both of us Juliet. Maybe there is something more than just this letters that is needed to be revealed. Maybe this letters perfectly hides who we truly are.

Love,
Joshua"

Ipinasok ko sa sobre ang sulat ko. Am I giving her a hint na hindi talaga ko yung Joshua na gusto niyang makausap? It's hard pretending. How long will this bullshit last? I know this isn't the right time to confess that I'm not the real Joshua. Andito na 'ko. I know it will damage her thinking that she was fallen to a wrong man. I hope that one of this weeks this nightmare will end. But not now. Not today.